When Abby Eckel became a mother, something didn’t sit right. Like many women, she had absorbed years of glossy images and carefully curated narratives about what motherhood was supposed to look like. But after her second son was born, the gap between expectation and reality became impossible to ignore.
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“I felt really lied to about motherhood,” Abby says. “Everything I had been seeing, all the influencers I had been seeing, their carefully curated lives… I was like, this is such bull**t... I kind of set out to shed light, an honest look at motherhood, because I didn't really see that outside of Scary Mommy. And so I started creating content."

That moment became the starting point of a journey that would turn Abby into a widely followed content creator, educator, and advocate for more equitable partnerships and honest conversations about motherhood, marriage, and gender roles.

When “Equal” Isn’t the Norm

Abby didn’t set out to become an advocate. She started by sharing her own life. But one moment, in particular, revealed just how far her family’s setup diverged from what most people considered normal.

After moving into a new neighborhood, Abby casually mentioned to neighbors that her husband was inside making dinner. “They were like, ‘Is your husband working?’ And I was like, ‘No, he’s inside making dinner. It’s his week to cook.’ And they were kind of dumbfounded.”

In Abby’s household, cooking, bedtime routines, and domestic labor rotate. Both parents participate fully. When Abby shared this online, the response was immediate… and massive. “I realized very quickly that this was not the norm,” she said. “Even though I knew it wasn’t the norm, I didn’t realize the extent of it.”

That realization opened the door to a deeper education, which Abby says never really ends. “The more you learn about the inequities of marriage and motherhood and simply existing as a woman in the world, it never really ends.”
 
Raising Boys Without Gendered Shortcuts

Abby is raising two sons and is intentional about modeling equity at home, not through lectures but through expectations.  “There aren’t really any gender-specific roles,” she explains. “They’re doing their laundry, they’re cleaning up after themselves, they’re loading the dishwasher. They see both mom and dad doing all of these tasks.”

For Abby, accountability matters just as much as participation. When tasks aren’t done properly, they aren’t quietly fixed by someone in the background. She recalls a moment at her mother-in-law’s house when her son rushed through cleaning up train tracks, assuming his grandma would finish the job.

“He was like, ‘No, it’s okay, Nana has her own way that she wants it done.’ And I was like, ‘No, no, no. Nana doesn’t want to do this. She doesn’t find enjoyment in cleaning up after you.’” Instead of leaving it as is, Abby made him start over. “Now you’re going to sit down and you’re going to dump the box out, and we’ll put them in there together… If you have questions, I’ll be here to help you. But now you will complete this task.”
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The lesson wasn’t just about chores. It was about dismantling the belief that women enjoy cleaning, or that someone else will always pick up the slack.

It Is Not Women’s Fantasy That the House Falls Apart

One of Abby’s most viral responses came after the comedian John Christ mentioned on his Net Positive podcast that moms secretly enjoy leaving the house and returning to chaos because it makes them feel “needed.” Abby didn’t mince words. “It is not women’s secret hope or fantasy that when we leave the house is in shambles. It is quite literally most women’s nightmare.”

She explains why: the mess doesn’t magically disappear. “They’re going to have everything to clean up and piece back together… That’s a punishment. That’s not an enjoyment.”

For many women, the chaos triggers fear, not validation. “If you go out with your friends, or you go to an event and enjoy something or fulfill your hobby, and then you come home and it looks like a tornado went through your house — the kids haven’t been fed properly, the dogs haven’t eaten, toys are all over the place, and there are ground Goldfish crackers in the carpet,” she says passionately. “That’s not an enjoyable thing for anybody to come home to and be like, ‘Look how much my family needs me.’ That is very much like, ‘Holy sh*t — what if something happened to me? This is what my kid’s life would look like if I wasn’t here.’ And that very often is the main reason so many women stay in unhappy marriages, because they are terrified of how little proper care their children would receive in their absence and during the time they would be with their fathers during his custody.”
  
Abby provided an example of how Kentucky’s recent equal-custody law, framed as a way to reduce divorce, may in reality keep many women in marriages out of fear rather than happiness, because they are deeply concerned about the level of care their children would receive in their absence.

​In this episode of the Trust Me Mom podcast (Season 1, episode 30) available on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, Abby Eckel and host Ekaterina Konovalova unpack why so many women feel overwhelmed, unseen, and resentful, and why the problem isn’t communication, effort, or “doing more,” but deeply ingrained systems that still center men at women’s expense.

​Abby shared her journey into advocacy, the TikTok moment that went viral when she talked about splitting household labor equally, what centering yourself actually looks like in real life, and how raising boys differently can change future generations.

The Danger of Repackaged Misogyny

The conversation turned to cultural narratives that appear progressive on the surface but still place the burden on women. When author and podcaster Scott Galloway argued that unmarried women tend to thrive while unmarried men spiral, Abby saw a deeper problem.

“I think Scott Galloway is, for lack of a better term, a wolf in sheep’s clothing.” She explains why the message feels dangerous. “His entire message is like, we just need men to get married… because when men are single, they are destructive… We must pacify them with women.” For Abby, this framing ignores systemic issues and quietly assigns women responsibility for male behavior. “Women again should not be given up and sacrificed for men’s wellbeing. It’s just misogyny packaged a little bit prettier.”
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“You Cannot Communicate Your Way Into a Better Husband”

Perhaps the most provocative moment of the interview came when Abby was asked how women might create more balance in their marriages. Her response was so disarmingly blunt that I couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow: “Get a divorce?” She quickly clarified but didn’t soften the message. “There’s no amount of communicating… books… podcasts… counselors that are going to change somebody who has benefited greatly from the way things have been set up.”

Abby challenged the idea that women are responsible for fixing inequity through better phrasing or timing. “You cannot communicate your way into having a better husband. This is solely on men.” She explained why so many attempts fail. "You can't make him see your worth. You can't make him see that or suddenly deem that what you do is important enough to want to help out with, to want to participate in."

Centering Women in a World Built for Men

One of Abby’s core concepts is centering, or rather how rarely women are allowed to do it. “Men have always been centered,” she says. “The world was literally built by them, for them, on the backs of women.” Even men who consider themselves egalitarian often default to their own needs.

“They’re talking at their wives, not with them,” Abby explains. “It is me, me, me… and they don’t even realize it.” Her advice for women who cannot leave, many of whom are unable to do so, is radical in its simplicity.  “Start centering yourself.”
That might look small, but it’s powerful. “Make a meal that you like, even if everybody else hates it. Set the thermostat to your preferred setting.” These acts matter because they reconnect women to themselves. “This is about you finding fulfillment and happiness… outside of being a wife and a mother.”
 
The Work Still Ahead

Abby doesn’t pretend this path is easy. “This is going to feel really uncomfortable for men,” she says. “It will create friction.” She believes it is necessary, not just for women but for future generations. As she raises her sons in a household built on accountability, empathy, and shared responsibility, Abby is clear-eyed about what is at stake. “We give up our bodies. We give up wages. We give up promotions. [The world] was not built to empathize and understand what women go through.”

Change, she says, doesn’t come from women doing more, but from refusing to disappear inside systems that were never designed for them to thrive.

Are kids really more fragile than previous generations, or are they reacting exactly as we should expect to the world we have created for them?

That question sits at the heart of Kids These Days, a deeply researched book by Dr. Will Dobud, social work clinician and researcher and Dr. Nevin J. Harper. In a recent conversation on Trust Me Mom, Dr. Dobud unpacked how teen mental health became medicalized, why diagnosis and labeling often do more harm than good, and what truly helps young people heal.
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His perspective is shaped not just by research, but by lived experience.

From Troubled Teen to Social Work Trailblazer

Dr. Dobud does not approach youth mental health from a distance. As a teenager, he struggled himself. His father left the family, school was a constant source of conflict, and therapy became a regular part of his life. “I like to say I couch surfed from therapist to therapist,” he shared. “Therapy was just part of my everyday life.”

At 18, wanting to shift from surviving to contributing, he became a volunteer firefighter and EMT. Around the same time, he began working with young people in outdoor settings. What struck him immediately was the disconnect between how teens were described in clinical environments and how they actually showed up in the world.

“Therapists would come out and say, this kid is anxious, they have all these problems,” he said. “And I’d think, but when we’re camping, everything’s good. I don’t see that version of that child.” That disconnect sparked a lifelong curiosity about what actually works.

The Problem With Labels and the Medical Model

One of the central critiques in Kids These Days is how modern mental health relies heavily on diagnosis, categorization, and treatment manuals. While these systems promise clarity and safety, Dr. Dobud argues they often strip young people of agency and identity.

“We talk about these things like they’re natural laws,” he explained. “But there were times when none of this existed. These ideas came from somewhere, and that means we can question them.” When teens internalize labels like “anxious” or “depressed,” those labels can quietly become identities rather than descriptions of experiences. Over time, the focus shifts from growth to maintenance.

“We need people to be sick to have worth in our jobs,” Dr. Dobud said candidly. “So when someone asks a therapist what they do, it’s always about what’s wrong with people.” This framing, he argues, reinforces a medical model that does not reflect how therapy actually works. “If you ask any therapist what works, they’ll tell you it’s the relationship,” he said. “Imagine if your relationship with your surgeon predicted whether the surgery worked. It would change how we think about everything.”

When Therapy Becomes About Protecting the System

Decades of research show that therapy is effective, but also that no one model consistently outperforms another. Despite this, the field continues to produce more manuals, more diagnoses, and more standardized treatments. “Since the first meta-analysis in the 1970s, outcomes haven’t improved by even one percent,” Dr. Dobud noted. “We keep looking at the wrong thing.”
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He describes this as a form of professional self-protection. By defending manuals and diagnoses, systems defend their legitimacy, even when doing so undermines the very relationships that create change. “No one has ever said, I had the best therapist in the world, they followed an amazing manual,” he said. “That’s never happened.”

Power, Consent, and the Real Risk in Therapy

One of the most important themes in the conversation was power. Therapists hold immense power over children and families, whether they acknowledge it or not. “When you walk into therapy, you give up all the power,” Dr. Dobud said. “This is a stranger asking you to trust them with your kid.”

He believes harm occurs most often when professionals deny or misunderstand that power. “You can only hurt a child in the name of therapy if you really believe you’re the expert,” he said. “When you know you have all the power, you also know you have the off switch.” Rather than more rules or longer training pipelines, he argues the field needs deeper reflection on ethics, humility, and consent.

Outdoor Therapy and the Myth of the Magic Method

Dr. Dobud is known for his work integrating outdoor and adventure-based therapies, but he is quick to challenge the idea that nature itself is a cure. “Nature doesn’t care about healing you,” he said. Even though he really enjoys outdoors, he said, "I’ve never walked outside and thought, time for me to heal… time for my dose of nature. I’ve also seen rattlesnakes, grizzly bears, and I’ve been in a cage with a great white shark. I work in Australia, where everything can kill you." Dr. Dobud explains, “Space becomes healing when people attach meaning to it.”

Early in his career, he believed outdoor therapy worked because nature was inherently better. Research forced him to reconsider. “What I realized is I’m a better therapist outdoors,” he said. “What we do is probably the most boring part of the story. It’s about me and the client.”

Outdoor settings strip away professional performance. Teens see adults struggle, adapt, and respond authentically. That realness, not the activity itself, is what creates opportunity for growth.

Creating Experiences That Become Exceptions

Rather than focusing on problems, Dr. Dobud designs experiences that become exceptions to them. “If negative experiences can harm,” he said, “then experiences can also heal.” He described watching teens who were labeled as unfocused or incapable demonstrate determination, patience, and leadership while navigating challenges outdoors. Those moments allow young people to internalize a different story about themselves. “I don’t want to tell them what makes them strong,” he explained. “I want them to experience it.”

Kids as the Canary in the Coal Mine

Perhaps the most powerful idea in Kids These Days is the metaphor of children as the canaries in the coal mine. “No child creates the environment they grow up in,” Dr. Dobud said. “They don’t choose the school system, the toxins, the politics, or the technology.”

He pointed to well-documented examples, including lead exposure, endocrine-disrupting chemicals, and agricultural toxins that remain legally permissible despite decades of research showing harm. In some cases, these substances have been banned in other countries while remaining widespread in North America. “What’s troubling,” Dr. Dobud explained, “is that we allow these things into kids’ environments, and when kids react to them, we diagnose and medicate the child instead of questioning the system.”

When kids struggle, the response is often to medicate or diagnose them so they can remain in environments that may be harming them. “If a kid was in a mine saying, ‘I can’t breathe,’ would we say, ‘take this pill and stay in the mine,’ or would we change the environment?” Instead of asking why kids cannot adapt, he urges adults to ask what they are adapting to.
 
A Call to Adults, Not Another Parenting Manual

Kids These Days was intentionally written for adults, not as a checklist, but as a challenge. “We didn’t want to write another book telling parents ten things to do tomorrow,” Dr. Dobud said. “We’ve survived a decade of contradictory parenting manuals.”

The book invites readers to question sensational headlines, resist oversimplified explanations, and reclaim responsibility for shaping healthier systems. “Kids don’t belong to us,” he said. “They belong to tomorrow. The moment they’re born, our job is to set that tomorrow up better.”

The work is uncomfortable and often slow. But for Dr. Dobud, it is also energizing. “If you’re fighting for the right thing,” he said, “you don’t burn out.” And that may be the most hopeful message of all.

Is ABA therapy right for my child? How does ABA therapy work?

To answer these questions, demystify Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) therapy, explore its benefits, and talk candidly about the real experiences of families navigating autism, behavioral challenges, and mental health, I sat down with Brittany Maurizi, an ABA therapist and founder of Balanced Behaviors.
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With over a decade of experience in early childhood and special education, and as a mom of two, Brittany brings a unique blend of professional expertise and deep empathy to her work.

From Teacher to Therapist: Brittany’s Path to ABA

Brittany’s path to ABA began in the classroom: “I started out my career as an early childhood educator and special education educator. I was in that field for 10 years before I started really working closely with ABA therapists and I just saw the wonderful things that ABA therapy can do for people.”

Seeing the impact was enough to push her toward a new direction: “I knew that I wanted to branch a little bit outside of teaching. I just didn’t really know how. And then I got to work closely with a fantastic group of people and decided to go back to get my master’s degree.”
 
Inspired, Brittany returned to graduate school, became a Licensed Behavior Specialist in Pennsylvania, and is now completing her board certification hours. Today, she works with clients across ages and abilities while growing her practice, Balanced Behaviors.

What Is ABA Therapy?

ABA, which stands for Applied Behavior Analysis, is a structured, evidence-based therapy widely used to support children with autism, though Brittany is passionate about expanding access to people of all ages and diagnoses.
ABA typically focuses on four developmental domains:

1. Communication
2. Socialization
3. Functional/life skills
4. Behavior reduction

While commonly associated with autism, Brittany emphasizes that ABA can support any individual seeking to improve quality of life, learn life skills, or reduce challenging behaviors.

ABA is not intended to be indefinite: “ABA therapy is not a therapy that you have for the rest of your life… Our wheelhouse is about two to three years.” Treatment is consistent and goal-based: “You receive this therapy daily… Monday through Friday. My position is I write the treatment plan… and then I coach the technician to implement the treatment plan.”

And above all, the goal is independence. Brittany said, “We want to work ourselves out of a job… we want the quality of life for our client to improve."

ABA Across Ages: What It Looks Like

For Young Children

The focus often begins with communication. Working closely with speech therapists, Brittany aims to address frustrations that arise when children cannot express their needs: “Communication deficits are often where behaviors begin. We start there and build.”

For Teens

Socialization and functional skills take the lead, including task completion, vocational skills, safely using appliances, or preparing for adulthood. Brittany partners with schools to coordinate transition plans.

For Adults

A major gap exists in support for adults with developmental or behavioral needs. Brittany hopes to fill that gap by creating community, teaching independent living skills, and offering social skill-building programs. Or, as she put it: “Parents tell me they don’t have a community of people who understand. I want to create that.”
 
The Power of Community, And the Grief Parents Don’t Expect

As a mom of two boys, Brittany understands the emotional journey many families face. Her younger son has experienced speech delays and reading challenges, giving her firsthand insight into what parents go through when facing diagnoses, evaluations, and tough decisions.

“You almost have to go through a grieving process when a diagnosis comes for your child… Even myself being in the field, I had to go through that process.”

This lived experience helps her connect with families on a deeper level, earning trust that’s essential in ABA. 

In Season 1, Episode 28, you will learn what ABA therapy really is, how it works across different ages, and how parents can decide whether it’s the right fit for their child. Brittany Maurizi, ABA therapist and founder of Balanced Behaviors, breaks down common misconceptions, explains practical strategies families can use at home, and shares candid insights from her work and her own parenting journey. ​By the end, you will have a grounded, realistic picture of what effective ABA support looks like in everyday life.

Where Therapy Happens
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ABA services are flexible. Brittany regularly provides therapy:

• in clients’ homes
• in schools
• in daycares
• in the community

Although she doesn’t have a physical office yet, she dreams of opening a sensory-friendly therapeutic space with areas for kids, adults, and their caregivers.
 
Accessing ABA Therapy: Insurance & Evaluations

Most insurance pathways require:

1. A diagnosis from a licensed psychologist, psychiatrist, or LPC
2. A written order recommending ABA
3. An assessment conducted by a clinician like Brittany
4. An individualized treatment plan (ITP)

Daily sessions are typically conducted by an ABA technician under Brittany’s supervision. Insurance coverage varies widely, though progress is being made - some states are expanding access to individuals with Down syndrome and other conditions.
 
Crisis Support & Community Safety

ABA therapy often extends beyond behavior change - it can play a role in crisis prevention and support. Brittany shared a case of a nonverbal client who eloped from home. The police response became a powerful example of how community awareness saves lives: “They squatted on his level… showed him their badge… so he was getting familiarized with a safe person.”

She is now collaborating with local officials to train police departments on how to respond to individuals with autism or communication challenges.
 
Supporting Higher-Functioning Kids

For children who are verbal or more independent, interventions often focus on:

• visual schedules
• reducing anxiety about the unknown
• reframing instructions
• teaching self-regulation strategies
• positive reinforcement
• building trust

A key tool is the Premack Principle: “First this, then that.” Brittany emphasizes avoiding empty promises: “Do not get lost into empty promises… ‘We’re going to Chuck E. Cheese’ when you know that’s not a reality… The trust is going to be even harder to build.”
 
Positive Reinforcement Over Punishment

ABA is grounded in positive reinforcement, not punishment. Brittany teaches parents to recognize small successes, remain consistent, and avoid unrealistic rewards.

Even simple praise works: “I really love how you’re sitting and doing your homework for me.” Consistency, trust, and relationship-building are at the core of successful therapy.
 
How ABA Differs from Other Therapies

Unlike traditional mental health therapy, which might be weekly, ABA is:

• structured
• intensive
• daily or near-daily
• skill-building focused
• data-driven
• highly individualized

Skills learned on Monday are practiced again on Tuesday, reviewed Wednesday, and strengthened throughout the week.
 
Breaking the Stigma Around Mental Health and ABA

Despite growing awareness, stigma remains - both around autism and ABA therapy itself. Brittany wants to change that.
“When that diagnosis comes through, allow yourself to feel it… sit in it for a little bit and go from there.” Her hope is to create spaces where families feel supported, not judged.

Are we getting our kids ready for the world ahead of them?

That question sits at the heart of my conversation with Kepler Knott, author of Raising Tomorrow: Talks to Prepare Our Kids for What Lies Ahead. Kepler’s life has taken him through military service, teaching, global travel, fatherhood, and a long career in tech and marketing - experiences that eventually inspired him to write a book for his two daughters.​

From Pandemic Letters to a Guidebook for Families

During COVID, Kepler began writing - not for work, but for his daughters: “I began to write a series of letters to my own children on different topics… and I'm like, this is a book.”

Originally there were fifteen letters, one for each topic he felt mattered most as they grew up. But he didn’t want the tone to feel prescriptive or rigid: “It's not about telling my kids, hey, here's all the right answers, but here's some things to think about as you grow up… I wanted my kids to have a fun and flexible playbook.”

Each chapter blends stories, research, humor, and hard-earned wisdom into conversations families can actually have - on identity, relationships, values, work, money, and more.
 
Parenting in a Time of Overwhelm

Part of Kepler’s motivation comes from the emotional reality of today’s teens: “Ages 18 to 24… show the highest rates of depression. At the same time, two thirds of parents say parenting is harder than ever.”

Instead of panic, he wants parents to focus on teaching kids how to adapt, question, and navigate a world that’s both more connected and more confusing. He believes “our life's work as parents is not to clear the road for our kids. It’s to help them navigate it.”

A Father on Boys, Girls, and the Chaos of the Teenage Brain

When asked which chapter he enjoyed writing most, Kepler didn’t hesitate: the chapter on boys. As a father of daughters, he wanted them to understand the inner workings (and the bewildering parts) of teenage boys. "Plato once said of all the animals, the boys, the most unmanageable,” he jokes. 

He mixes humor with candor: “The woman's brain is multifaceted and diverse… The men had like… sports, sex, sex, food, friends… a simpler thing.”

But he also highlights the challenges boys quietly face: “Teenage boys… are four times more likely than girls to drop out of school, more likely to be placed in special education.”

It’s a chapter about empathy, not stereotypes, helping his daughters understand their peers with both awareness and compassion.
 
Identity: Who We Are, Where We Come From, and What We Share

Kepler’s own background informs the chapter on identity. He was raised white, Southern, Protestant; his wife’s family is Eastern European and Jewish. And like many multicultural households, they navigate different beliefs, practices, and histories.

But he encourages his daughters to balance individuality with connection: “Be proud of who you are and where you come from, but realize that we're all in this together.”

He includes a quote from Martin Luther King Jr.: “I have a dream where one day my children will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.”

And a quote from his mother: “Finding someone who gets you is one of the best feelings or experiences you can have in life.” 
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His hope is that kids see identity not as a box, but as a lens, something they carry with them while still recognizing the humanity in others.

Religion, Tradition, and Raising Kids With Openness

Faith is another theme he approaches with balance. With kids growing up between two traditions, blended holidays are part of family life. When asked about Christmas, Kepler joked: “I'm still lobbying for a Christmas tree… For my wife… it's not how she grew up.”

But rather than choose, the family embraces both: “We actually celebrate both of those, all the holidays… everybody's invited to everything.”

His broader philosophy on spirituality is simple and generous: “I'm not your director of religious education, I'm your director of religious exploration.”
 
Teaching Critical Thinking in the Age of Endless Information

Kepler is passionate about teaching kids how to think, not what to think. He quotes Mark Twain: “I've never let schooling interfere with my education.”

And he warns that information alone isn’t clarity: “The truth of things is not just the information tidbit, it's the context… who's saying it and why are they saying it?”

He is equally adamant about teaching practical life skills like laundry, cooking, managing money - things he sees many teens lacking: “Kids get very educated in the formal sense, but yet they can't like function.”
 
Family Boundaries, Politics, and the Art of the Olive Branch

Traditions aren’t the hardest part of blending families, he says. Politics is. And he describes family gatherings the way many listeners can relate to: “A lot of holidays go sideways… It's about what's going on in the state of the country.”

His approach is rooted in relationship, not argument: “The simplest way is to keep your tongue in your mouth… we're sitting down at dinner together… so there's a certain level of respect and accommodation.”

Someone has to extend the olive branch, and someone has to take it.

What He Hopes Parents Will Walk Away With

At the end of our conversation, Kepler returned to the real purpose of the book: “Not all the right answers, but I think there are a lot of the right questions.”

He hopes families use the book as a starting point for conversations they’ve been meaning to have but didn’t know how to begin. And he offered a line that captures his whole philosophy: “I can't control the bigger picture of the world… but I can exert some influence… over myself and my own family.”

He added with a smile: “The parts add up to the whole and one plus one equals three.” (Yes, metaphor only - we clarified the math!). In the end, his message is simple: if each of us strengthens our own families through honest conversations and intentional guidance, we create a ripple effect- one that can shape not only our children’s futures, but the future we all share.