“I repeated a lot of relationship failures being a closed-hearted guy,” Jayson Gaddis told me when we sat down for our conversation. “And then I realized — maybe I’m the problem. I am a common denominator here in all these relationships. It was very freeing because I could do something about that."

That moment of radical self-awareness became the turning point in Jayson’s life. Raised as a sensitive boy with a stern father and surrounded by a culture that didn’t welcome emotions, he learned early on to shut down. “I became a shell of myself,” he admitted. “And that made it really hard to connect.”
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But instead of staying stuck in the blame loop, Jayson did something useful - he decided to study himself. He went to graduate school for psychology, became a therapist, met his wife, and began what he calls a real adult relationship. They treated their marriage as a spiritual path — a mirror that reflected their patterns, wounds, and potential for growth. From that foundation, their family naturally followed.

Creating The Relationship School

As a couples therapist, Jayson started noticing something familiar in every session: people were struggling with the same fundamental relationship challenges: communication, conflict, and emotional safety. “There’s no class in school that teaches us how to do relationships,” he said. “So, I decided to start one.”

That’s how The Relationship School was born — a community where people learn the skills no one ever taught them: how to repair after conflict, communicate with respect, and grow together instead of apart. Today, Jayson trains coaches around the world to help couples do exactly that.

A Wild Youth and the Search for Self

Before he became a teacher of emotional maturity, Jayson’s life was anything but calm. In college, he threw himself into extreme sports, drugs, and alcohol — what he now recognizes as an attempt to numb pain and seek external validation.
“I was hurting my body to get attention,” he said. “Jumping off cliffs, mountain biking, rock climbing — and doing it all with drugs and alcohol. It was a dangerous mix.”

He hitchhiked across Alaska and Central America, chasing freedom but feeling lost. “There was always this tiny voice inside saying, you’re not being yourself. That voice eventually led me here.”

Marriage as a Path to Authenticity

When Jayson talks about marriage, his honesty is refreshing. “If you don’t like growth and discomfort,” he says, “don’t get married.” Marriage, to him, isn’t a fairytale. It is a commitment to growth, a spiritual journey where both partners agree to face their own shadow. 

“What I love about long-term relationships,” he explains, “is that they push us to be more authentic. It’s very hard to hide in marriage.” He also emphasizes the importance of balance. “A healthy relationship includes both closeness and space,” he said. “You can have freedom inside commitment if you and your partner agree on what that looks like.”
 
Turning Conflict Into Connection

One of Jayson’s key teachings is that conflict isn’t the problem — disconnection is. “Good relationships have conflict,” he said. “It’s normal and healthy. The goal isn’t to avoid conflict but to repair it.”

He shared a simple but powerful framework for repair:

1. Take responsibility — “I raised my voice,” or “I shut down.”
2. Validate your partner’s feelings — “It makes sense that hurt you.”
3. Empathize — show care instead of defensiveness.
4. Listen before explaining yourself.

​“When you know how to repair, no conflict is a problem,” he says. “You can always find your way back to connection.”

What if your relationships could become your greatest teacher? In this episode (Season 1, episode 25), Jayson Gaddis, founder of The Relationship School and author of Getting to Zero, shares how facing his own emotional shutdown transformed his marriage, his career, and his understanding of love.

You’ll learn:

- Why radical self-awareness is the starting point for healthy relationships.
- How to turn conflict into connection instead of disconnection. 
- What it really means to treat marriage as a spiritual path. 
- Why repair — not perfection — is the key to lasting love. 
- How financial stress, parenting, and even health challenges can become opportunities for growth.

Jayson’s raw, inspiring, and deeply human story is a reminder that love isn’t about avoiding discomfort, but about growing through it together.

 Facing Financial Struggles Together

Like many couples, Jayson and his wife have weathered financial storms. Early in their marriage, a business failure left him feeling lost and defeated. “I was in an existential crisis,” he shared. “But my wife looked at me one day and said, ‘I need you to get over yourself and show up for me.’ That was a wake-up call.”

He believes how couples handle money reveals their ability to communicate and trust. “Money, like sex or parenting, is another opportunity to grow as a team,” he said. “The key is transparency. Shame hides in the dark; communication brings it to light.”
 
A Health Scare That Changed Everything

In early 2024, Jayson received a diagnosis that would shake anyone — early-stage prostate cancer. “It was caught very early, thanks to an MRI I pushed for,” he said. “I’m healthy now and deeply grateful.”

He believes chronic stress played a major role. “I was overworking, trying to grow the business too fast, and disconnected from myself,” he reflected. “It taught me to slow down and take care of what really matters.” Jayson’s openness about his health journey is both grounding and inspiring. “My kids were scared when we told them, but we were honest,” he said. “And my wife has been incredible through it all.”
 
Handling Life’s “Zombie Attacks”

When I asked Jayson how he stays grounded amid the constant waves of challenges, comparing life to a violent game with attacking villains and zombies, he smiled and said, "Life is full of zombie attacks." He wasn’t joking. “Every time you think you’ve made it through one challenge, another appears. It’s like a video game — as soon as you master one level, you move to a harder one.”

What helps him face it all? A spiritual framework and strong relationships. “My Buddhist teacher taught me that life is trustworthy and sacred,” he shared. “Everything that happens is on the way, not in the way.”

And his advice for parents? Raise resilient kids. “Let them do hard things,” he says. “Don’t protect them from every struggle. That’s how they build capacity for life.”
 
Final Thoughts: The Beauty of Growth
​
Jayson Gaddis’s story is one of courage: not just the courage to love others, but to truly see himself. From reckless youth to conscious fatherhood, from failure to healing, his journey reminds us that relationships are not meant to make us comfortable. They are meant to make us real.

“Challenges never stop,” he said. “So I want to get better at meeting them — and help others do the same.”

​Teenage anxiety is on the rise, and parents everywhere are searching for effective ways to support their children through these challenging years. In a recent interview, Sophia Vale Galano, a clinical social worker, therapist, and author of Calming Teenage Anxiety: A Parent’s Guide to Helping Your Teenager Cope with Worry, shared her expertise and practical advice for families navigating this journey.

How to Tell Normal Stress from Anxiety That Needs Attention

It’s common for parents to miss the signs or to confuse “typical teen” behavior with something more serious. Sophia suggests watching how often the struggle appears and how much it interferes with daily life.

• Normal stress example: A teen feels nervous before a test but still takes it and gets on with their day.
• Red-flag example: A teen throws up, has a panic attack, refuses school, or their test anxiety spills into other classes and friendships.

Rule of thumb: If the pattern shows up weekly or daily, or if it impairs school, sleep, or social life, it’s time to take a closer look.

Start the Conversation Early, Even If Your Teen Isn’t Struggling Yet

Sophia is a big advocate of prevention. Don’t wait for a crisis to normalize talk about anxiety. Aim for curiosity, not fixing. Skip well-meaning solutions like “Try meditating” or “Take a walk.” Instead, invite the teen’s experience:

• “What is it like for you when this happens?”
• “Would you walk me through what it feels like?”
• “Tell me more: what makes it easier or harder?”

​Open-ended questions make teens feel heard; one good conversation can lower the temperature more than a dozen solutions.

If Your Teen Says, “I Don’t Want to Talk About It”

Expect this response often. Don’t force it. Instead, change timing or context:

• Try side-by-side settings (car rides, walking the dog, cooking together) rather than face-to-face “interrogations.”
• Use third-party prompts - a show, movie scene, or a public figure’s post about mental health to open an organic window.

If they still decline, revisit later. The door can close for now and still be reopened.
 
Rebuilding Trust When Control Got in the Way

For parents who default to control, Sophia recommends two parallel tracks:

1. Radical patience. You can’t build trust on demand; it grows from consistent, nonjudgmental presence.
2. Modeling over messaging. Ask: What am I showing my teen about how I handle stress? If you’re running on fumes, they feel it.

This isn’t performative. It’s real self-regulation: therapy or coaching for yourself, a morning off when needed, breathing room in the calendar - visible acts that show teens what healthy looks like. “Teens aren’t expert communicators,” Sophia notes. “They may never say ‘Thanks for changing.’ But they notice.”
 
The Energy You Bring Matters (Even If You’re a Skeptic)

Whether you believe in “energy” or not, teens (especially anxious ones) are highly sensitive to the tone at home. Think of the difference between walking into a spa vs. a crowded subway. Your nervous system sets a baseline.

Good news: This is within your control. Even small daily practices (five minutes of journaling, a short walk, a hard stop at bedtime) shift the climate  -- no teen buy-in required.
 
When to Seek Therapy or Other Support

Sophia’s short answer: Anytime is a good time. But especially when anxiety impairs function (school avoidance, sleep disruption, social withdrawal) or when conflict cycles are entrenched. If standard talk therapy doesn’t click, widen the lens:

• Movement-based sessions (walk-and-talk)
• Creative therapies
• Coaching or mentorship
• Spiritual counseling or alternative modalities

This isn’t about lowering standards; it’s about finding the best-fit support a teen will actually use. You can always reassess together.
 
Social Media: Don’t Ban - Teach to Modify

Outright prohibition often backfires. Instead, coach media hygiene:​

• Use platform tools: Mute, restrict, or block accounts that trigger shame or spirals.
• Rebalance the feed: Add uplifting pages aligned with real interests (hobbies, creators, supportive mental health content).
• Reality check the “highlight reel”: One polished photo may be 1 out of 200, filtered and airbrushed. Remind gently, not with scolding.
• Name the “comparison trap.” Ask, “How do you feel after following this account?”

​Parents: practice what you preach. Your own scroll habits are part of the lesson.

Parenting a teenager can feel like walking on eggshells, especially when anxiety enters the picture. In this episode (Season 1, episode 24) Sophia shared practical, compassionate strategies to help parents recognize anxiety, open up meaningful conversations, and model calm and emotional regulation without controlling or enabling their teens.

If you’ve ever wondered how to truly connect with your anxious teen — this conversation will give you hope, insight, and practical tools to start today.

Helping vs. Enabling: Find the Line

Love can tip into rescuing. Sophia’s litmus test uses a memorable image: “We want our teens to be okay scraping their knees, but we don’t want them to break their knees.”

• Step in when safety is at risk or the task is truly beyond their capacity.
• Step back when discomfort is tolerable and growth-producing (e.g., sending the email themselves, talking with a teacher, attempting the test).

Ask yourself: Will my intervention build skills and confidence—or quietly tell them they can’t handle life?
 
For Stretched-Thin Parents: Small Moves Count

Caring for aging parents, younger kids, college savings, work—this season is heavy. Don’t wait for a free day to take care of yourself.

• Five minutes of breathing or stretching
• One hour every few days for a walk or therapy session
• One boundary on work email at night

Micro-habits still change the household nervous system. You’ll show your teen that adults can be busy and well.
   
In a summary, below are a few takeaways for parents: 
​

• Observe interference and frequency to tell typical stress from clinical concern.
• Lead with curiosity, not fixes. Open-ended questions build safety.
• Model calm. Your regulation is the strongest intervention at home.
• Customize support. Therapy is great; so are movement, creativity, and coaching—if they fit your teen.
• Teach social media skills instead of banning it.
• Avoid rescuing. Let teens handle safe discomfort to build resilience.
• Small parental self-care shifts the family climate.

When we hear the phrase long-distance relationship, we often think of romantic partners separated by geography. But what about long-distance parenting—navigating fatherhood or motherhood from miles away?

In this episode of Trust Me Mom, I sat down with Jason Cercone, a podcaster, strategist, and devoted father, who shared his story of co-parenting his teenage daughter after separating from his former wife. Jason’s journey offers powerful insights into maintaining closeness, communication, and emotional connection even when physical distance makes parenting more complex.

A Mature Approach to Co-Parenting

When Jason and his former wife separated, they both made a crucial decision early on: their daughter would never be treated like a pawn in their adult struggles.

“We didn’t want our daughter to feel it was her fault,” Jason recalls. “We’d seen how that plays out and didn’t want to be those parents.”

That mindset laid the foundation for a healthy co-parenting dynamic based on mutual respect and open communication. Even when life took an unexpected turn and his ex-wife relocated to Virginia, Jason approached the change with a combination of realism and grace.

“I knew this day would come,” he says. “So I started mentally preparing myself for it. Adaptation has been a big lesson in my life - something I learned from my dad.” His ability to plan emotionally ahead of the move made the transition smoother, both for him and his daughter.
 
Keeping the Connection Alive
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Jason admits that maintaining a close bond with a teenage daughter from six hours away takes effort and intention.
The key, he says, is constant communication and embracing the tools technology provides.

“Texting is a big part of how we stay connected. I’ll send her quick messages to tell her I love her or how awesome she is. Just little things to brighten her day.” They also schedule weekly FaceTime calls, and when they do talk, their conversations go deep. Jason credits his podcasting background for helping him ask better questions.
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“When she was younger, I never settled for one-word answers like ‘fine.’ I’d ask, ‘What was fine about it?’ or ‘Tell me one good thing that happened.’ Over time, that made her more comfortable opening up.” Now, even though they live far apart, their emotional bond remains strong.

​Trust, Safety, and Letting Go

Parenting from a distance brings a different kind of challenge, especially as kids grow more independent. Jason says that the traditional “protective father” instinct doesn’t vanish, but it has to evolve.

“You can’t helicopter parent from six hours away. What you can do is keep communication open. Sometimes she just needs advice, not control.”

He also emphasizes the importance of trusting his co-parent’s partner, his ex-wife’s fiancé, who has become a positive figure in their daughter’s life. “He is a good guy, and he’s played roles I couldn’t when I wasn’t there. It takes maturity to accept that, but it’s what’s best for her.”

Jason’s advice to other parents? Communication between all adults is key. Jealousy, control, or competition can quickly erode trust and stability for the child.

“If you’re all tugging in different directions, who feels it the most? The child. And they didn’t ask for any of that.”

​Teaching Resilience and Self-Confidence

Jason also shared how he helps his daughter navigate challenges like bullying and peer pressure. His parenting style focuses on realism, strength, and empathy. “I don’t sugarcoat life. The world isn’t always kind, but how you respond makes all the difference.”

When his daughter faced bullying at school, Jason guided her through it with calm wisdom. “I told her, the high road is free of potholes. If you live there, it’s a smoother ride.” She followed his advice choosing to ignore the drama rather than fight back, and the situation eventually deescalated.

Jason’s approach teaches her that strength doesn’t come from reacting but from staying grounded in her values.
 
Lessons from an Italian Dad

Much of Jason’s parenting philosophy comes from his Italian upbringing. Work ethic, respect, and resilience were constants in his home growing up.

“We weren’t in a strict household, but we were expected to carry our weight. My parents taught me that the most rewarding results come from hard work.”

It’s a value he’s now passing down to his daughter - one that connects generations of his family, from his grandfather’s immigrant grit to his own modern-day parenting.
 
The Power of Adaptation and Communication

As Jason puts it, parenting across distance isn’t about perfection — it is about persistence. Life changes, families evolve, and children grow up, but love can travel any distance when communication stays strong. Jason said, “There will be times you don’t get what you want, but it balances out. As long as everyone stays connected and communicates, it works.”
​
His story is a reminder that family isn’t defined by proximity but by presence — the emotional kind that shows up through effort, honesty, and love, no matter how far apart you are.

When I first picked up The Explosive Child, I felt as if someone had finally handed me a manual for parenting my own child. Dr. Ross Greene’s work has reshaped how countless families understand behavior — not as defiance or willfulness, but as a signal of unmet needs and lagging skills. In our conversation, Dr. Greene shared why discipline charts, punishments, and timeouts fall short — and what really works when parenting children who struggle.

The Core Idea: Kids Do Well If They Can

At the heart of Dr. Greene’s model is a deceptively simple principle: kids do well if they can. If a child isn’t meeting expectations, it’s not because they don’t want to, but because something is getting in their way. As Dr. Greene explains:
“Concerning behavior is just a frustration response. If all we do is try to modify the behavior, we never do anything about what’s causing the frustration.”

Research supports this view, pointing to lagging skills such as flexibility, adaptability, frustration tolerance, problem solving, and emotion regulation as the real differentiators between kids who struggle and those who don’t. When children lack these skills, no amount of stickers or punishments will make them succeed.
 
Moving Beyond Rewards and Punishments

Too often, parents are advised to double down on discipline: more timeouts, stricter rules, tighter control. Dr. Greene warns that this approach is misguided:

“Rewards and punishments aren’t problem-solving strategies. All we’re doing is trying to modify the frustration response— not addressing the problem that caused it.”
​
Instead of chasing after misbehavior, he urges parents to identify “unsolved problems” — the unmet expectations that repeatedly frustrate the child. Once we see those clearly, we can stop reacting in the moment and begin working proactively.

The Three Plans: A, B, and C

Dr. Greene offers parents three distinct approaches for handling unmet expectations:

• Plan A: Unilateral problem solving. The adult decides what’s wrong and how to fix it. This traditional model is the least effective, often missing the mark entirely.
• Plan B: Collaborative problem solving. Parent and child work together. The adult learns directly from the child what’s making an expectation hard to meet, and they collaborate on solutions that address both sets of concerns.
• Plan C: Setting aside expectations. Some expectations must be put on hold — at least temporarily. Parents may prioritize bigger issues or recognize that a particular demand is currently out of reach for their child.

Plan B is the heart of Dr. Greene’s approach, and it flips the script: children are not passive recipients of adult control but active problem-solving partners.
 
Meeting Kids Where They Are 

For many parents, the hardest shift is letting go of comparisons. A child with autism, ADHD, or other neurodivergent traits may struggle with tasks that seem effortless for their peers. Dr. Greene calls this developmental variability — the natural differences in how children progress across skills and milestones.
​
“The definition of good parenting is meeting your kid where they’re at. Comparing your child to someone else’s isn’t helpful. Frustration responses are valuable signals — they tell us when we’re not meeting the child where they are.”
Instead of seeing defiance as defiance, parents can learn to see it as communication. Every meltdown, refusal, or “no” is a message: I can’t meet this expectation right now. 

Catch the latest episode of the Trust Me Mom podcast (Season 1, Episode 22), where Dr. Ross W. Greene discusses the importance of understanding child behavior through the lens of frustration responses rather than traditional rewards and punishments. He emphasizes the need for parents to meet their children where they are developmentally and to engage in collaborative problem-solving strategies. It is packed with practical ideas and strategies on how to solve problems with kids collaboratively.

Scripts That Help

Dr. Greene emphasizes that language matters. Parents can open doors to understanding with a few key phrases:

• Empathy step: “I’ve noticed you’re having difficulty with [X]. What’s up?”
• Define adult concern: “The thing is, my concern is…”
• Invitation to collaborate: “I wonder if there’s a way we can address your concern and mine?”
  
  

He stresses two words above all: ask and listen. Asking communicates respect; listening communicates empathy. Together, they form the foundation of collaboration.
 
A Message for Families and Schools

Dr. Greene’s upcoming book, The Kids Who Aren’t Okay, will tackle the growing challenges schools face as more children struggle with anxiety, depression, absenteeism, and behavioral concerns. His nonprofit, Lives in the Balance, also advocates for systemic change, so kids everywhere are treated with compassion and understanding rather than harsh discipline.

As he put it during our conversation:

“Power causes conflict. Collaboration brings people together. I have much more faith in solutions that are arrived at collaboratively than in those imposed through power.”
 
Final Thoughts

Parenting isn’t about enforcing compliance — it’s about solving problems together. When we stop asking “How do I make my child behave?” and start asking “What’s getting in their way?”, everything shifts.
​
Dr. Greene’s work reminds us: children want to succeed. They want to do well. And with empathy, collaboration, and patience, we can give them the tools to thrive.
 

​Parenting is one of the most important, yet least taught, skills in life. Most people typically don’t attend classes on how to raise children or how to build healthy relationships, yet these two areas shape our lives more than anything else. In my recent conversation with Kenny Weiss, an emotional authenticity coach and founder of The Greatness University, we explored how childhood trauma affects parenting, what it means to truly heal for our kids, and why pain can be the gateway to authenticity.

A Childhood That Shaped a Calling

Kenny’s story begins in a chaotic home. His parents married young (at 16 and 18) and by their early twenties, they already had four children. Both carried their own childhood wounds:

• His father, who was beaten as a child, never hit Kenny but lived in anger and emotional detachment.
• His mother struggled with alcoholism.

Kenny recalled a defining childhood moment: “I was just 10 years old, woke up in the middle of the night, to use the restroom and there she was, passed out naked on the toilet. And that’s the day… I just remember screaming, I’m dying, I’m dying. And I felt whoever I was up to that point left me.”

From there, Kenny began a long struggle with trauma, addictions, two divorces, a horrific custody battle, bankruptcy, and even thoughts of suicide. Yet through his pain, he developed a fascination with psychology and healing. Eventually, with the help of a counselor named Mike, Kenny realized: “I don’t know how to be a man. My childhood taught me… the only way to survive in our household was to have no morals and values, no needs and wants, no voice - to be completely neglected, abandoned and invisible.”

That realization became the turning point that set him on the path to emotional authenticity.
 
Why “I’d Die for My Kids” Is a Red Flag

Many parents say, “I’d die for my children.” Kenny challenges that idea: “A parent who says I’ll die for my kids, that’s a red flag. That’s usually a sign of codependence and enmeshment. Their value and worth is wrapped up in their child. A child feels that burden - that I have to keep you alive, so I feel safe within myself as the parent. That’s a massive burden for any child to carry.”

Instead, Kenny suggests the truest act of love isn’t sacrifice, but healing: “The single greatest thing you can do as a parent for your child is to do the work on your own childhood trauma.”

The Cottage Cheese and the Dog: Small Moments, Big Impact

Not all trauma is dramatic. Sometimes, it’s the small moments that shape a child’s sense of worth. Kenny shared one story: “I was just reaching in the refrigerator to grab a cottage cheese. I was hungry and my mom ran over screaming no, no, no, no, that’s for the dog! 

What I heard was: If I eat, I get in trouble. If I eat, mom doesn’t love me. In this house, we feed the dogs before we feed the kids. So, I spent most of my life starving myself. I thought that was just my personality - I hated eating. But really, it was an adaptation to get love.”

Kenny explained how his mom’s intent was innocent - she needed the cottage cheese for the dog’s medicine, but without explanation, a child interprets the moment differently.

The healthier response? Kenny imagines his mom could have said: “Sweetie, hold on a second. I know you’re hungry and I love that you want to eat something, but I’m using the cottage cheese to hide the dog’s pills. Let’s find you something else.”

This difference, acknowledging the child’s need while providing context, is what it means to be emotionally attuned.

Pain as a Pathway

Kenny believes pain is not just inevitable but purposeful: “Every single choice we make - relationships, careers, hobbies, is driving us towards the pain that’s keeping us from rediscovering our authenticity. The goal of that pain is an opportunity to confront ourselves, see the truth, and heal.”

Instead of avoiding negative emotions, Kenny encourages parents to embrace them: “When so-called bad things happen, I love it. Because I know this is the gift. This is where the solution lies.”
​
He calls this transformation “joy pain” - the ability to feel joy even in hardship because it signals growth.

Catch the latest episode of the Trust Me Mom podcast (Season 1, Episode 21), where Kenny shares his story of a traumatic childhood, failed marriages, bankruptcy, addictions, thoughts of taking his own life, and a profound (potentially spiritual) experience that led to recovery and wisdom. He talks about how emotions influence our behavior and how childhood trauma makes us relive the Worst Day Cycle. He reminds us that instead of self-sacrificing and claiming they would die for their kids, parents should let go of unresolved trauma and destructive patterns so they don’t pass them on to their children.

Emotions and Illness

Kenny also connects unhealed emotions to physical health: “Even the CDC says 85 to 95% of all illness and disease is stress related. Well, what’s stress? It’s fear. What’s driving the majority of illness and disease is an emotional problem.”
He shared his own back pain story, realizing it symbolized the emotional weight he carried for his family. He also linked conditions like allergies and chronic cough to withheld truth: “If you’re coughing, where are you not speaking your truth? Where are you withholding what you really want to say?”
 
Breaking the “Worst Day Cycle”

Kenny has coined the concept of the Worst Day Cycle:

1. Childhood trauma creates fear.
2. Fear leads to shame - feeling less than.
3. Shame drives us into denial and self-destruction.
4. We repeat the cycle through destructive choices in relationships, careers, and health.

The way out is what he calls the Authentic Self Cycle: truth, responsibility, healing, and forgiveness.
“We’re all a train wreck. Who cares about our stories? Let’s just embrace it, start talking about it, and start dealing with it. If you want to end pain, that’s how you do it.”
 
Resources for Parents

Kenny offers resources for people at every stage:

• Free content: YouTube channel, free downloads on KennyWeiss.net.
• Books: Your Journey to Success and Your Journey to Being Yourself.
• Courses: His online Greatness University, teaching the emotional authenticity process.
• Coaching: For those ready for deep one-on-one work.

As Kenny said: “There’s only so much you can learn from videos, books, and classes. We all need an outside reference. That’s my job - to teach you how to be me for yourself.”
 
Final Thoughts

Kenny’s journey is proof that pain can be a guide, not an enemy. For parents, the lesson is clear: your greatest gift to your children isn’t sacrifice, it is healing.

“If you want to die for your child, the way to do that is die to yourself and go heal yourself.” By doing the hard work of emotional authenticity, we not only break free from our own worst day cycles but also give our children the freedom to live authentically themselves. 

On this episode of Trust Me Mom, I spoke with Alexandra (Alex) Dimoff, a licensed professional counselor specializing in Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) in children and screen addictions. Our conversation covered everything from spotting early signs of OCD to practical strategies for managing excessive screen time at home.

What OCD Really Is?

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) has two parts:

• Obsessions: intrusive, repetitive thoughts that are hard to control.
• Compulsions: the behaviors performed to ease the distress caused by those thoughts.

​Classic examples include excessive handwashing or repeatedly turning lights on and off. But OCD isn’t just about quirks;  to be diagnosed at a clinical level, symptoms must:

• Last at least two weeks
• Take up more than an hour a day
• Cause distress or disrupt daily life

Where OCD Comes From?

OCD can develop due to genetic predisposition or environmental triggers. In some cases, excessive use of electronics or video games can fuel obsessive behaviors.

Alex explained that video games are designed to keep players hooked — from endless levels and collectible “skins” to time-limited rewards that create a fear of missing out. For kids, these virtual rewards can feel as important as money or status in the adult world.

A Case Study: Reward Systems That Work

Alex shared the story of a young client with autism and OCD who would pull out hair or pick skin to get attention. Instead of relying on punishment, Alex introduced a reward system:

• If the child avoided the harmful behaviors all week, she earned money to spend on something she loved — like a Lego set.
• Progress was tracked visually with stickers or check marks.
  ​

This approach gave the child a sense of control and a tangible goal, while involving the parent in consistent follow-through.
 
Why Parents’ Role Is Critical
​
Therapy is just one hour a week — the rest happens at home. Alex stressed that parent participation is essential. But big changes can be overwhelming, so she starts with small, manageable steps:

• Changing passwords on kids’ devices
• Locking up electronics overnight
• Setting clear expectations for screen time

Managing Screen Addiction

Alex recommends priming — telling kids exactly what to expect before screen time begins and when it will end. Timers and countdown clocks help make the transition smoother, and giving a five-minute warning before stopping play can reduce meltdowns.

If aggression happens despite warnings, Alex suggests:

• Removing the device
• Using timeouts (1 minute per year of age)
• Setting clear “game rules” like keeping hands to oneself and using respectful words

For extreme aggression or property damage, a safe timeout space free of breakables can help prevent harm.
 
Who Outgrows Screen Addiction?

Alex believes it comes down to support systems. With encouragement from parents and therapists and positive experiences with face-to-face interaction, kids can naturally shift away from relying on screens for social fulfillment. Without that support, the habit can persist into adulthood.
 
When to Seek Help

Parents should consider therapy when:

• The behavior causes distress, dysfunction, or deviation from normal life
• It lasts more than two weeks
• Compulsions take more than an hour a day

​Alex suggests starting with a 6–12 month commitment to therapy to see meaningful change. Medication can be added depending on the family’s beliefs and the child’s needs.
 
Relapse and Lifelong Management
​
Some OCD tendencies may reappear during stressful life events, but with the right skills, kids can learn to manage new obsessions. Understanding the beliefs driving the compulsion is key to breaking the cycle.

Catch the latest podcast episode featuring Alex Dimoff (Season 1, episode 20) where ​we explore the complexities of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and screen addictions in children. Discover how family history and environmental factors contribute to OCD, and learn about effective interventions and therapies. 

Final Advice for Parents

Alex’s parting words:
“Be kind to yourself because I know that you have a plan on paper with all of these interventions and it sounds really great in that it's going to run smooth and as expected, but when you go to carry out the plan, life happens and there's barriers in the way, so don't get discouraged whenever it's not going according to the plan.”
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You can learn more about Alex Dimoff through her Psychology Today profile or reach her via email at [email protected].

​What if one of the most empowering fairy tales for children today was written over 300 years ago? In my latest conversation with fairy tale scholar Anne E. Duggan, we dove into the rich, magical world of “The White Cat,” a once-beloved story by Madame d’Aulnoy that deserves a major comeback in bedtime routines today. Here’s why.

Meet the White Cat: More Than a Pretty Feline

“The White Cat” combines the whimsy of Puss in Boots and the mystery of Rapunzel, but with a twist: this tale’s heroine is a powerful, sovereign female who leads, loves, and saves the day.

The story begins with a king who sends his three sons on impossible quests. The youngest stumbles upon a magical castle ruled by a white cat in mourning. Over three years and three trials - finding the tiniest dog, the finest fabric, and the most beautiful woman - the cat helps him succeed. In the end, she asks him to cut off her head and tail, revealing her true form: an enchanted princess trapped by fairy punishment.
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She doesn’t just reward him with her hand in marriage - she gives away three kingdoms. The message is clear: this is no damsel in distress. She is the story’s beating heart, strategist, and ultimate liberator.

The Hidden History of the Cat Fairy Tales
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As Professor Duggan explains, “The White Cat” has deep roots in earlier European cat tales, especially in versions where magical feline helpers are passed from parent to child. Over time, these cats became increasingly masculinized - Charles Perrault famously flipped the gender of the magical helper to a male in “Puss in Boots.” Madame d’Aulnoy, in naming her tale after the female cat, reclaims the feminine magical archetype.

And her cat isn’t just magical – she is regal, commanding armies of feline subjects, controlling time, and offering abundant resources. The tale even hints at her previous marriage and sexual experience, making her more mature than the prince she ultimately weds.
 
Rewriting Patriarchy Through Fairy Tales

Many early-modern fairy tales, including Russian and Arabian stories, feature a familiar pattern: a passive young man is aided by a magical woman who does all the work. Anne and I reflected on how these stories might have offered a subtle critique of gender roles, especially considering the social and political landscape of the 17th century.

In aristocratic society, youngest sons (like the prince in the White Cat story) were often left out of inheritance, while daughters could be confined to convents. In “The White Cat,” the youngest son gets everything - but only because a powerful woman chooses to help him.

Even more subversive is the cat’s refusal to marry an “ugly dwarf,” a fairy-imposed punishment echoing the real-life forced marriages young women like d’Aulnoy faced. Anne shared how the author herself was forced into marriage at 13 to a man in his 40s and later imprisoned for scandal and political defiance. Writing, in many ways, became her act of resistance.
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Rewriting Power: Noblewomen Who Penned Their Own Fate

It’s easy to assume women were always submissive in history, but Anne offers a different lens. In 17th-century France, noblewomen such as duchesses, queens, and court influencers typically held more power than men of lower rank. Writers like Madame d’Aulnoy, Madame de Lafayette, and others were published, respected, and widely read. Some even ran their own literary salons.

Still, it wasn’t easy. Many, like d’Aulnoy, were locked up in convents or exiled. Anne described how these women turned fairy tales into emotional safe spaces, rewriting the lives they were denied. In their stories, the powerless gain agency, the unjust find justice, and women rescue themselves.
 
A Story Worth Resurrecting

Despite its historical popularity, including stage musicals, serialized chocolate bar inserts, and comic books, the White Cat has faded from mainstream memory. But she’s poised for a comeback.

Dr. Duggan shared that a new illustrated collection of tales by d’Aulnoy and her peers is in the works, aimed at modern audiences. These condensed, beautifully drawn versions retain the heart of the stories while making them accessible to new generations of readers.

As a mom, I am excited to read “The White Cat” to my daughter. Not just because it is charming and fantastical, but because it also celebrates a heroine who is clever, courageous, and kind.

When you picture a marketing executive, you might not imagine a Zumba instructor, a stay-at-home mom, or someone who once questioned whether she'd ever have a career again. But Kate Speer is all of those things, and more. In a conversation with Trust Me Mom host Ekaterina Konovalova, Kate shares her winding, deeply relatable journey of balancing motherhood and ambition, and how she ultimately launched her career to new heights, after having four kids.

 Career Paused, Not Lost

Kate’s career began in the traditional corporate world, at Merrill Lynch. But when she became a mother at age 24, it didn’t make financial or emotional sense to keep going in a job she didn’t love. So, she stepped back. But she didn’t stop growing.

She started teaching Zumba. Then she opened a fitness studio. It was small and flexible work that allowed her to raise her children while still learning how to run a business, including marketing, payroll, web design, and client management. These weren’t “just part-time gigs.” They were stepping stones that sharpened her skillset and built her confidence.
 
The Freelance Hustle and an Unexpected Breakthrough

After closing her studio due to family logistics, Kate dove into freelance marketing. This was before the gig economy exploded, yet she was already laying the groundwork for something bigger. Her hustle paid off when a trucking company took a chance on her. Within two years, she became their VP of Marketing.
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But in 2022, Kate lost that job unexpectedly. She had built a career that helped support her family. She wasn’t in a place where she could afford to “pause” again. What followed was a crash course in reinvention, visibility, and networking.

From Invisible to Irresistible: The Power of Networking

“I never networked. I didn’t think I had to,” Kate admits. Like many moms, her days were full - working, parenting, managing hockey schedules. But when she suddenly needed a new role, she realized the power of being visible.
So, she leaned in. She built a personal website. She started posting on LinkedIn. She showed up to in-person events. And while it was terrifying at first, she kept asking herself: What would I want my kids to do in this situation?

Kate believes that “confidence is a muscle,” and that to build it, “you get that by doing things and putting yourself out there, and the more you do that, the easier it gets. And the more that you feel confident in yourself - that I might not know all the answers or feel ready for this, but we're going to take the leap and figure it out.”
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The result? Two job offers in under six months - one of which led to her current role as VP of Marketing & Brand Development at Grandpa Joe’s Candy Shop. But more than that, she found a thriving professional community and a new sense of identity.

“I’m Further Ahead Now Than I Would’ve Been Without Kids”

Kate doesn’t just feel like she caught up - she feels like she sprinted ahead. Motherhood, she explains, taught her how to prioritize, how to juggle, and how to make every hour of work count. “If I’m going to spend eight hours doing something, let’s make it count.”

The emotional intelligence, time management, and resilience she gained through parenting? All of it transferred into her work life and helped her thrive under pressure.
 
Advice for Moms Feeling Stuck or Behind

Kate has a message for moms questioning whether they’ll ever get their careers back:

• It’s never too late. Even if you’ve been out of the workforce for years, your skills are still valid and valuable.
• Keep learning. Whether it's free courses, reading industry news, or volunteering, always find ways to stay sharp.
• Put yourself out there. Even if you’re scared, tell your story. Post on LinkedIn. Reach out to people. Network with intention.
• Build your hype squad. Find people who believe in you, and be that person for others too.

 
Final Word: Moms Can Do It All - Just Not All at Once
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Kate’s story is a reminder that the “motherhood penalty” doesn’t have to define your path. With intention, support, and self-belief, moms can not only return to the workforce - they can lead it. And sometimes, the detours turn out to be the most powerful chapters of all.
 

In a recent in-person episode of the Trust Me Mom show, host Ekaterina Konovalova sat down with a marketing executive, TEDx speaker, and LinkedIn content creator Nicole (Nikki) Ramirez. What followed was a raw and relatable conversation about parenting, professional identity, and the surprising overlap between marketing and motherhood.
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Ekaterina and Nikki know each other from the marketing world, but this time, the focus wasn't just career moves - it was the unexpected wisdom that emerges when a marketing expert becomes a parent.

From Forbes to Fishy Challenges

Before motherhood, Nikki's career path was nothing short of impressive. "I'm a journalist turned marketer and now I'm a growth marketing specialist, specializing in healthcare. I am also a personal branding coach and a LinkedIn content creator," she shared. She even led marketing at Forbes for their accolades department and gave a TEDx talk back in 2018.
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But everything shifted when she became a mom. "I thought, I'll be a mom, and it'll just fit into my life, and I won't change at all. And how naive I was," Nikki admitted. "Every day is just a new adventure. You watch this person become a whole human, and it's incredible."

Going Viral Over Beach Chicken

That human (Nikki's toddler) became the star of a viral LinkedIn post that put Nikki in the social media spotlight. "My toddler hates fish but loves chicken. So, when we have salmon, I call it beach chicken and he says 'Yay, beach chicken!' and eats the whole thing," she explained. "I ended the post with 'know your audience.'"
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The internet exploded. "I ended up on the Today Show and Newsweek... I had colleagues and friends who are not on LinkedIn or follow me sharing my post and saying, 'Hey, I saw you on X, formerly known as Twitter... and on Instagram... and someone did your whole post on TikTok.'"

Branding, Negotiation, and Toddler Psychology

Nikki believes that many business skills translate directly to parenting. "My negotiation skills are top notch now... you're always rebranding and storytelling and rephrasing things to really get your toddler to stay alive and be a good person." Her parenting mantra? "Know your customer."

As a mom of one with another on the way, Nikki has learned to be deliberate about how she divides her energy. "I make sure to end my day when my child comes home from daycare... closed laptop, I'm spending time with my son... no phones at the table, no distractions."

Advocacy and Identity

Beyond parenting and work, Nikki is an advocate for maternal rights through her work with the Chamber of Mothers. "We have three pillars that we really concentrate on: maternal health, affordable childcare, and paid maternity leave." She emphasized the need for a phased return to work and the high costs of childcare that force many families to make painful choices.
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"Fill your cup with what you want to do," she advised. "If you're forced to say, 'Okay, I can't afford childcare so I’m staying home,' that's not filling your full cup."

​Redefining Self and Social Life

Parenthood also changed her social rhythm. "I was such a social butterfly... now I have no desire to really do a lot of that anymore. I'm trying to wrap my head around: is this who I am now? Or am I just exhausted?"

Despite the shifts, she’s clear about one thing: "You need to keep your identity when you become a mom. Diversify your happiness. Don't give up on your hobbies and passions. When your cup is filled, you can fill other people's cups."

Nikki’s Advice to New Parents

"Put your oxygen mask on first. Do what makes you happy and don't feel guilty about it. Because then you are your full self, and it will reflect on your kids," reminds Nikki. Moms tend to lose themselves in caregiving and work, and they will thank themselves in the long run if they maintain hobbies and continue to invest in friendships despite the exhaustion.
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Whether you’re marketing beach chicken or trying to make sense of your new identity as a working mom, Nikki’s story is a refreshing reminder that the skills we use in our careers can serve us well at home - and vice versa.

Imagine you had a magic wand… How would you reshape home life to make it more equitable? Fortunately, you don’t need to look for a fairy - the resources and strategies are already available today. One of the change agents who is making waves in the movement for greater equity in household labor and caregiving is Laura Danger: an activist, educator, author, wife, and mother of two.
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So, what sparked Laura’s passion for this work?

How Laura's Advocacy Began
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Laura shared that her advocacy journey began with personal experiences of inequity in her household. Married for over a decade and raising two children in a dual-income household, Laura found herself at a breaking point in 2019 after being laid off days before giving birth to her second child.

"Our household was on edge. I had very little capacity to be kind when soliciting help," she recalled. Then, the pandemic hit in early 2020, turning their already challenging life into a pressure cooker.

The combination of economic uncertainty, domestic stress, and societal collapse pushed Laura to speak out online about her experiences. "I was watching millions of women and primary caregivers just leave the workforce because of the overwhelm," she said. "I am seeing all of the fractures of society... and I was really, really mad."

Defining Weaponized Incompetence

Laura defines weaponized incompetence as using a lack of skill or poor execution of a task to avoid responsibility. "It can be truly being neglectful on purpose and trying to break the trust of the person. It can be just willful ignorance," she explained.

She shared a striking story about a woman who left her husband one task: dispose of bug-infested rice while she was on a business trip. He poured it down the drain, causing a plumbing disaster. He didn’t tell her how he had disposed of the rice, and it was embarrassing when he mentioned the drain was clogged but forgot to explain what had caused it. The truth came out when his wife asked her father to stop by the house and help fix the plumbing. “Eventually, they did break up,” Laura noted. “It was just one example of many.”

Whether such acts are intentional or due to a lack of skill, they still have a strong impact on the partner who bears the emotional and logistical burden.​

Understanding the Nag Paradox

The "nag paradox," Laura explains, occurs when one partner takes on the mental load of planning and delegating while the other follows instructions. "One party feels criticized and the other defensive. We aren’t seeing the work of delegating as work," she said.

She emphasized that equitable relationships must include explicit conversations about roles and responsibilities, beginning with manageable tasks. "Start small. Bite-size. Practice having those explicit conversations about what you want."

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​Lessons from the Dishes

Laura discussed how she and her husband addressed recurring conflict over dishes. "We had to think about what are the barriers for each of us and how we could fix it," she said. They explored pragmatic solutions, including simple fixes like putting a chair in the kitchen in the evening so her husband could sit while doing the dishes and listen to a podcast, switching chores, and structuring conversations using frameworks from relationship experts like the Gottman Institute.
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On Devaluing Domestic Labor

Ekaterina raised the issue of how domestic labor is often devalued in households and society. Laura responded passionately: "Without the work of the home, nothing else in society functions. You literally cannot live without feeding yourself, without getting rest."

She underscored how this devaluation disproportionately affects caregivers and women, contributing to systemic inequities such as the "motherhood penalty."

The Need for Structural Support and Community

Laura spoke to the added stress for families caring for children with special needs. She emphasized the universal need for care networks: "It’s impossible for one person to do this. It’s also impossible for two people to do it. We need whole networks of care."

Quoting disabled parent and author Jessica Slice, Laura touched on the fear that often accompanies caregiving: "There is real fear that you won’t be able to access the care you need."

Communicating Through Mental Health Challenges

Laura also opened up about navigating her own mental health, including bipolar II and ADHD. She and her husband have developed a communication shorthand. "All I have to say is 'I'm not feeling well.' That's it," she shared. They then rely on pre-planned strategies to divide caregiving responsibilities.

Modeling Equity for Children

Laura and her husband are intentional about modeling equity for their children. They openly plan, communicate, and share household responsibilities. "We really focus on out loud talking about the things we enjoy and really showing them that we can be whole people," she said.

​To learn more about Laura and her work, check her Instagram at @thatdarnchat or visit lauradanger.com for more resources. 

Laura's book No More Mediocre offers hopeful strategies for fostering equitable relationships. She also co-hosts the podcast Time to Lean, where she discusses everyday care labor, cultural critiques, and practical tools.