​Parenting often feels like it should come naturally. Yet, for many of us, the journey reveals just how much learning, healing, and growth it truly demands. In a recent conversation on the Trust Me Mom show, I had the pleasure of speaking with Hunter Clarke-Fields, an author, speaker, podcaster, and creator of the Mindful Parenting course and teacher training program.

Hunter’s journey from overwhelmed mom to mindful parenting advocate is deeply inspiring—and packed with lessons for all of us striving to do better.

From Struggle to Strength: Hunter’s Parenting Journey
 
Hunter didn’t become a parenting expert and advocate because it came easily to her. Quite the opposite. She openly shared that she struggled with anger and reactivity, especially when parenting her oldest, highly sensitive daughter.
“I was a highly sensitive kid. I had some issues with the way I was responding to her, and I was yelling at her and I was scaring her. And it was awful because that's exactly how I didn't want to parent.”

Despite having practiced mindfulness before becoming a parent, Hunter found herself yelling—something she had vowed never to repeat from her own upbringing. “That's how my father was with me. He had a really terrible temper, and I had specifically chosen to not yell, and yet I was yelling. So, it was really frustrating for me.”
 
Desperate for change, she dove into learning, becoming certified in Parent Effectiveness Training and embracing tools from mindfulness practices. One critical realization shaped her path: No parenting skill is effective if we can’t first manage our own stress responses. “I got certified as a Parent Effectiveness Training teacher. I did so much stuff. And I realized that all this learning I was doing about how to respond to your kids was useless if you couldn't take care of your stress response. If you were getting activated, if you were getting reactive, if you were starting to lose it, then everything you learned would go out the window. And I saw that pretty clearly with myself.

And so I saw that the tools from the world of mindfulness really had to come in here, because before then, we had just been assuming that parents could just perfectly do anything we chose to do and that we were like a blank slate. And the truth is, we have a lot of healing to do.”

Mindfulness became her bridge to better parenting—helping her recognize, pause, and respond rather than react.

Parenting Is a New Language

Hunter likens parenting skills like reflective listening to learning a new language. It can feel awkward at first, but practicing skills like validating children’s emotions, listening without dismissing, and managing our own emotional triggers pays off tremendously over time. As she shared, "Whenever you can put that work in, it pays dividends down the line like crazy."
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Building Emotional Regulation: Long-Term and In-the-Moment Strategies
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Hunter emphasized two approaches to help parents stay calm during challenging moments:

1. Long-Term Practice

Building emotional resilience isn’t just about surviving crisis moments—it’s about daily mindfulness habits.
Some ideas include:

• Taking mindful walks, focusing on your footsteps.
• Practicing short, daily meditations (even three minutes counts).
• Reducing device distractions to stay present.

Research even shows that mindfulness physically changes the brain—shrinking the amygdala (our stress center) and strengthening the prefrontal cortex (our rational, problem-solving center).

2. Short-Term Techniques: The Three Rs

• Recognize: Name your emotions out loud ("I'm feeling frustrated.").
• Remove: If possible, take a quick break to cool down safely.
• Resources: Use tools to regulate your body, such as deep breathing, shaking out tension, or repeating calming mantras like, “This is not an emergency.”

Modeling this healthy self-regulation teaches children emotional intelligence and resilience.

Honesty Over Perfection

One powerful takeaway was the importance of honestly naming emotions. Pretending to be calm when you’re boiling inside teaches children to distrust their instincts. Hunter encouraged parents to acknowledge feelings ("I'm feeling really upset. I need a break.") in a non-blaming way, emphasizing ownership of emotions rather than projecting them onto the child.
Children don’t need perfect parents—they need models for how healthy adults manage emotions.

Supporting Neurodivergent Kids

For parents of neurodivergent children, the stakes—and challenges—can feel even higher. Hunter advises:

• Recognize when the child has a problem (not the parent).
• Stay steady and calm, acting as a supportive listener.
• Validate their feelings without dismissing or overreacting.

As Hunter put it, “Well, it's really helpful in situations like this to understand who has a problem… When you have a problem, when your needs aren't being met, you want to solve your problem. But when your child has a problem, when your child gets dirty or your child has a boo-boo or whatever it is, whatever [the] size of the reaction is, it's still your child's problem. It's not your problem…But then you're the helper.” For example, if a child is distressed after touching something "dirty," acknowledge their distress rather than minimizing or escalating it. Meeting their emotional needs respectfully builds trust and emotional resilience.

When Problems Become Bigger: Seeking Help

In cases where behaviors escalate into self-harming routines (like obsessive hand-washing), Hunter recommends partnering with mental health professionals. Healing and habit change must come through empathy, intrinsic motivation, and support—not force or blame.

Fostering Resilience Through Failure

Allowing kids to fail safely and experience natural consequences builds resilience. Hunter shared how activities like free play, crafting, and even making small purchases independently can teach valuable life skills over time. Importantly, parents need to resist overprotecting their children due to their own past traumas.
As Hunter wisely noted: "Your kids don’t need you to be serene all the time. They need you to model what a healthy adult does with big feelings."

Wisdom from 500+ Podcast Interviews

Hunter also reflected on the lessons she's learned through interviewing hundreds of experts on the Mindful Mama Podcast, including:

• Lenore Skenazy on giving kids more independence.
• Gabor Maté on childhood trauma and emotional healing.
• Bethany Saltman on true attachment, which is rooted in emotional attunement, not co-sleeping or other surface behaviors.

Her work continues to emphasize the transformative power of mindful parenting—built through small, consistent steps.

Heal Yourself to Help Your Child

Parenting mindfully is hard work, especially when we carry our own childhood wounds. But as Hunter beautifully reminds us: "You can’t give what you don’t have. You have to cultivate inside what you want to express on the outside."
Starting with small steps—like daily mindfulness, emotional honesty, and compassionate listening—can create profound change for ourselves and our children.

Hunter’s Books
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Hunter’s popular books, including Raising Good Humans, Raising Good Humans Every Day, and the Raising Good Humans Guided Journal, are practical, compassionate guides packed with actionable tools for everyday parenting challenges. Her writing helps parents translate complex research into easy-to-implement daily practices.
 

​Parenting is never easy, but it becomes especially challenging when your child is struggling with their mental health. For many parents, recognizing and understanding the signs of depression or self-harm can feel like an overwhelming task. To shed light on these issues and provide valuable guidance, Ekaterina Konovalova sat down with Wendy McSparren, a seasoned clinical social worker with over three decades of experience in mental health. Wendy is also the founder of Westmoreland Psychotherapy Associates, a practice that has grown significantly to meet the increasing need for mental health services, especially during the pandemic.

In this conversation, Wendy shared her expertise on recognizing signs of depression, the complexities surrounding self-harm in kids and adolescents, and how parents can support their children through these difficult times.
 
From Accounting to Psychology: Wendy’s Journey Into Mental Health

Wendy’s path to becoming a clinical social worker is rooted in her own experiences as a young adult. Originally an accounting major in college, she found herself unhappy in the field. After speaking with a psychologist who encouraged her to pursue a career that involved working with people, Wendy switched to psychology. She later pursued social work at the University of Pittsburgh, which she found deeply rewarding. Reflecting on her early struggles, Wendy emphasized how personal experiences shaped her passion for helping others. "I want to give hope to people that you can have struggles and difficulties in life, but there's hope and there's light at the other end of the tunnel," she shared.

Depression in Adolescents: More Than Just Feeling Sad

One of the most pressing issues facing parents today is understanding depression in their children, especially when they may not exhibit the "classic" symptoms. Wendy explained that it’s essential to differentiate between clinical depression and situational depression. While both can cause significant emotional distress, the causes and treatment options differ.
 
Situational depression often arises from life stressors such as a family issue, a personal loss, or school challenges. This form of depression is typically temporary, with emotional support and coping strategies helping the individual overcome it.
 
On the other hand, clinical depression has deeper biological roots and may require professional intervention, including medication. This can be especially tricky for parents when it comes to children and adolescents whose bodies are still developing. Wendy noted that many parents hesitate to consider medication for their kids due to concerns about its impact on growth and development.
 
Signs of Depression: More Than Just Sadness

While sadness and isolation are the hallmark symptoms of depression, Wendy pointed out that adolescents may also express their depression in less obvious ways, such as anger and irritability. This can be confusing for parents who may not immediately recognize these behaviors as signs of depression.
 
Furthermore, Wendy discussed the varying degrees of suicidal thoughts. "Most people have different degrees of thinking about what life would be like if I wasn’t here," she explained. These thoughts can range from fleeting moments of despair to more serious plans or attempts. In some cases, adolescents may engage in non-suicidal self-injury (NSSI) as a way to cope with intense emotions.
 
Understanding Self-Harm: The Emotional Release and Brain Chemistry

Self-harm, particularly cutting, is another area that many parents struggle to understand. Wendy elaborated on the emotional distress that often leads to self-injury. For some adolescents, self-harm provides an emotional release, almost like a "catharsis" for bottled-up feelings of anger, sadness, or loneliness.
 
Additionally, she explained how the brain’s protective mechanisms can sometimes reinforce self-harm. When the body is injured, the brain releases chemicals such as dopamine to numb the pain. For some individuals, this chemical rush can become reinforcing, leading them to repeat the behavior for emotional relief.
 
What Leads to the Build-Up of Emotional Distress?

According to Wendy, the build-up of emotional distress is often due to an inability to manage overwhelming emotions. For many adolescents, this distress comes from sources such as peer relationships, family dynamics, or societal pressures. Wendy pointed out that current events - including negative news and social media - can exacerbate these feelings, creating a sense of helplessness or anxiety.
 
The lack of distress tolerance - the ability to cope with difficult emotions - can make it even harder for young people to navigate their feelings, leading them to resort to harmful coping mechanisms such as self-harm.
 
Are Some Kids More At Risk Than Others?

A common concern among parents is whether certain children are more prone to depression or self-harm, particularly those with neurodiverse conditions such as Asperger’s Syndrome or other autism spectrum disorders. Wendy emphasized that all young people are at risk for these issues. However, children with depression are more likely to engage in self-injury. Additionally, some younger children with neurodiverse conditions may exhibit different forms of self-injury, such as headbanging or biting themselves, before resorting to cutting or other more severe forms.
  
What Can Parents Do?

One of the most important things a parent can do is stay calm and get curious. When you notice signs of distress or self-harm, the natural reaction might be panic or anger but responding with empathy is key. Instead of asking, “What’s wrong with you?” Wendy suggests asking, “What’s happening?”  This shift in language opens the door to conversation rather than defensiveness. If the child doesn’t want to talk right away, set a clear but gentle boundary: “We need to talk about this. Can we talk this afternoon?” Let them feel some control while making it clear that ignoring the issue isn’t an option.

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​When Trust Has Been Broken

For families experiencing high levels of conflict - perhaps due to divorce or past communication struggles - kids may not feel safe opening up. In these cases, Wendy suggests identifying a trusted adult for the child to speak to: a relative, therapist, school counselor, or coach. 

“It shouldn’t be a peer who’s also struggling,” Wendy warns. “It's like swimming out to a drowning person without a buoy, and you're trying to save them - and you both drown.”
 
Rebuilding Connection Through Community

Loneliness and social isolation are often at the heart of a child’s distress. Wendy highlights the importance of community and physical activity. Programs like Taekwondo, dance, or group sports can offer kids both emotional and physical outlets.

She also mentions emerging initiatives like DashStrom, a startup aimed at getting kids off screens and into real-world, active experiences that build emotional resilience and social connection.
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That said, every child is different. Some may thrive in group settings, while others might feel overwhelmed. “Kids don’t come with manuals,” Wendy reminds us. “You have to figure out the puzzle of your own child.”

Final Thoughts: Listen More, Fix Less

As children become teens, their peers often outweigh their parents in emotional influence. This doesn’t mean parents are powerless - it means they need to listen deeply, empathize genuinely, and seek support when needed. “There is hope,” Wendy says. “Struggles don’t have to define your child’s future. With the right tools, connection, and support, healing is possible.”

​Wouldn’t it be nice if every newborn came with an instruction manual? It would make parents' lives so much easier! For Todd and his family, it took 11 years to truly understand his daughter, recognize her needs, and build a supportive environment around her - one that she would later express her gratitude for.
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In this heartwarming conversation on the Trust Me, Mom show, Todd shared his family's story, the challenges they faced, and the invaluable lessons they learned along the way.

​The Unexpected Diagnosis

For the first 11 years of Kelly's life, Todd and his wife knew she was different but weren’t sure why. She displayed signs such as hypersensitivity to sound, difficulty making friends, an early ability to read at an advanced level, and a preference for soft clothing. Yet, without a clear diagnosis, they simply adjusted to her unique traits without fully understanding them.

It wasn't until a family visit that Todd's aunt, a nurse, casually inquired about how they were managing Kelly’s Asperger’s. That one comment set Todd on a journey of discovery. He began researching, watching videos, and connecting the dots. This newfound understanding shifted their approach from frustration to patience, allowing them to see Kelly’s behaviors through a new lens.

Adjusting to a New Reality

Understanding that Kelly’s brain functioned differently, Todd and his wife made significant accommodations to help her thrive. One of the most life-changing decisions was moving from the suburbs to the countryside. Kelly had expressed a love for nature and animals, and their psychologist confirmed that a quieter, less stimulating environment could greatly benefit her.

Transitioning to a rural lifestyle wasn't easy, but it proved to be transformative. The Sheldon family embraced a slower, more intentional way of living, which allowed Kelly to find her peace and develop in a setting that better suited her needs.

The Challenge of Education

Like many children with Asperger’s, Kelly struggled in traditional schooling. While she excelled academically, the social pressures and sensory overload left her exhausted. After careful consideration, Todd and his wife decided to homeschool her.

The journey wasn't without obstacles. Finding the right curriculum took trial and error, and initially, learning at home did not go well. Eventually, they discovered a method that worked: studying in a library rather than at home. She ultimately completed a GED program, which led her to junior college and later to a scholarship in the honors program at the University of North Texas.

Building Strong Family Bonds

Throughout the journey, Todd prioritized spending quality time with Kelly. Their "Daddy-Daughter Time" became a sacred ritual, allowing them to connect, discuss life, and build trust. Over time, that evolved into "Todd-Kelly Time" as Kelly grew older, but the essence remained the same.

Todd also emphasized the importance of open communication. By listening to Kelly and acknowledging her thoughts and feelings, he helped her develop self-awareness and confidence. One of the most profound moments was when Kelly asked, "Where does Asperger's stop and I begin?" His response? "You are always Kelly. Your brain is like a superpower - learn to use it."

The Role of Siblings and Extended Family

Kelly’s older brother, Doug, played a crucial role in her development. Todd encouraged Doug to be a supportive and protective figure, reminding him that he had the power to positively influence Kelly's confidence and social interactions. Doug took this responsibility to heart, becoming not just a big brother but a true ally.

Their extended family also provided unwavering support, stepping in when needed and offering reassurance during difficult times. Todd stressed that asking for help is not a weakness but a vital part of navigating the challenges of raising a child with special needs.

Lessons Learned and Words of Wisdom

Through years of adapting, learning, and growing, Todd and his family discovered key lessons:

1. There is no one-size-fits-all handbook for parenting – Every child is unique, and parents must be willing to adapt.
2. Listen to your child – Sometimes, children know more about their needs than we give them credit for.
3. Society's expectations don’t define success - each child progresses at their own pace; there is no 'behind' or 'should.' As Todd mentioned in the interview, "People might notice, but they don’t care."
4. Make time for connection – Whether it’s parent-child time or dedicated date nights with your partner, relationships require intentional effort.
5. Support and patience are key – Understanding your child’s world can transform frustration into empathy.

Looking Ahead

Today, Kelly is thriving as an English major with a minor in music. She has gained independence, developed friendships, and is exploring her passions. Her journey wasn't linear, but it was hers, and it led her to where she is today - a place of confidence and self-acceptance.
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Kelly recently came to her dad and said, "Thank you for letting me have that time because it made all the difference."'​Todd’s story is a testament to the power of love, adaptability, and perseverance. By embracing Kelly’s unique mind and giving her the space to grow in her own way, he and his family created an environment where she could flourish.  

For any parent navigating a similar journey, Todd’s advice is simple: Trust yourself, trust your child, and embrace the unknown. The results might just surprise you.

Ekaterina Konovalova, the founder of Trust Me Mom, has been featured in the article by Harry Funk at TribLIVE.

When Ekaterina Konovalova became a mother, she quickly realized that raising a child requires more knowledge than most people expect - almost like earning multiple PhDs! Juggling a high-powered marketing career with the relentless demands of parenting opened her eyes to a harsh reality - one where parents are barely surviving, constantly exhausted, and struggling to meet both professional and family expectations.

Her journey inspired Trust Me Mom, a resource designed to provide expert-backed strategies for parents, especially those navigating the challenges of raising children with special needs. From tackling school struggles to understanding dyslexia and ADHD, Trust Me Mom offers practical, research-based insights to help parents feel more equipped and supported.

Ekaterina’s story is a powerful reminder that success isn’t just about career achievements - it’s about creating a life that aligns with our values and well-being. Through interviews with psychologists, educators, and thought leaders, she’s making parenting knowledge more accessible while empowering moms to redefine their worth beyond professional titles. If you’re looking for expert advice or simply reassurance that you’re not alone in your parenting journey, check out the full article by Harry Funk at TribLIVE here.

In the whirlwind of life’s ever-changing stages, Elizabeth De Moraes - a professional dancer, TED Talk speaker, and coach - reminds us that our true self never fades away; it simply awaits rediscovery. In a candid conversation with Ekaterina of Trust Me Mom, Elizabeth shared her journey from international dance floors to the challenges of motherhood, and ultimately, back to her artistic passion.

“It was easy to bring her into that community and flow with it, but at the same time, very challenging because if [kids] start crying or need you, there's that push-pull type of thing. But I was blessed to have her around. I was able to take her with me when I traveled to the school. I had my own office, a playpen and a place where she could nap. She was with me throughout the day, and I still got my work done. When I was teaching, I hired different students to babysit her. It was really special to have that option and these kids who so lovingly wanted to be with her. But it was challenging. It's a transition.”

Elizabeth eventually left her dancing career to focus on her family. A few years later, her second daughter arrived.

Reconnecting with the Artist Within

After years devoted to her children and entrepreneurial pursuits, Elizabeth felt a stirring - a sense that a vital piece of her identity was missing. She reflected, “I got so far removed from that part of my life that later on in my coaching, people would say, but you're a creative, Elizabeth, you are so creative. And it was almost a shock to hear … is that really me? Is that part of my identity? I'd so far pulled myself away from that! And what really hit me was my girls had never seen me dance live.”

In 2018, a local “Dancing for the Stars” event beckoned her back to the dance floor. It was a charitable event for the Rotary Club where business celebrities were paired with ballroom dancers to compete and raise funds for the organization. Elizabeth shared, “This was my first step back into training my body act - and I get chills when I speak about it because it really got me reconnected with my love of dance, and pushing my body, and being creative, and expressing myself. My whole being and my daughters get to witness that for the first time. And that was such a special feeling and reminder!”
 
It was here that the power of artistic expression reawakened her spirit. Even at 53, she dared to audition for a full-fledged dance company, embracing the vulnerability of not being as nimble as she once was. Though the path was challenging, it reaffirmed a crucial truth: creativity is not bound by age or circumstance; it’s a part of who we are.

Balancing Dreams and Family Life

Elizabeth’s journey is also a masterclass in balance. She reveals how open communication, setting clear “tethers” with her children, and building a robust support system have allowed her to pursue her passions without compromising family time. Whether she was preparing a media kit for the Emmys or coordinating schedules at home, her strategy was always clear - stay connected, be present, and trust in the process. Her approach serves as an inspiring blueprint for moms juggling multiple roles.

“As an entrepreneur, I made sure, especially at the beginning, that whatever I was doing I could do from home. Even though the timing might be different for spending time with them [referring to kids] or being present, I was still present at certain points of the day. For example, if I needed to do networking, often those things can happen in the evenings. They would understand, 'I'm with you all day today; I will be gone for a little bit later tonight.' In most cases, it's the flip. Parents are gone for the day, and then we get to be together for dinner in the evening. It's a matter of creating a scenario for yourself that works for you and lets you be close to your family.

The other thing is setting up that environment and having lines of open communication with them - what I call ‘tethers.’ I remember telling them, 'Mommy has to focus for the next month.' If I'm constantly on my computer, I'm writing, I'm re-editing, I'm rewriting and all of these things. I know I'm here - that's why I set it up that I could be at home - but know that I'm going to be focused on that. My tether was at the end, though: we're going to do X, Y and Z. I will promise that for the month after that, you will never see me with my laptop or my phone.”

Elizabeth also suggested getting additional support, such as hiring “mommy helpers” to do tasks around the house to offload some of the chores.

A Message of Empowerment

In her final reflections, Elizabeth offers heartfelt advice to all moms:
 
“Know that you will get through it and that with everything, just like your heart beats - contracts and releases, contracts and releases your lungs - they expand and they come back. That is automatically how our bodies are, but that's also how life is as well. That's how money is as well. You can have abundance. Everything goes in and out.

So, understand that when you are in what might feel like the ‘exhale’ part of your life where it's like, ‘I feel so depleted. I feel so tired. I don't know who I am anymore. I don't know who I am in relation to my partner anymore.’ Know that and settle in the belief and the faith that you will regain who you are through this process. You will have more sleep, you will have more rest, and you'll be at a different part in your life where all of this, this muck that you might be in the middle of is going to contribute so much to your future and to your story and how you can relate to other people.  You can use all the skills that you're learning right now through being thrown into the fire at some point.” She reminds us that the hardship of motherhood will eventually translate into the ability to better relate to other people and can improve our communication skills.

Elizabeth also cautioned moms not to completely dissolve in motherhood to avoid a realization that once kids are going to college, “now your identity is completely smashed because it's been all wrapped up in your child ... Having your own identity is not selfish. Because sometimes we'll think, but I've got to devote everything to my child. Yeah, but then what do you have?”

Her words resonate deeply - reminding us that investing in our personal growth is not selfish, but essential. By staying true to ourselves, we not only enrich our own lives but also set a powerful example for our children.

Embrace Your Season

Elizabeth’s story is a celebration of evolution - of finding balance between the roles we play and the dreams we nurture. It encourages every mom to dare to step back into the spotlight, to keep dancing through life, no matter the season. For more on Elizabeth’s inspiring journey and resources on creativity and self-expression, visit https://www.elizabethdemoraes.com/ or follow her on Instagram @iamelizabethdemoraes.
 
Whether you’re a dancer, an entrepreneur, or a mom forging your own path, remember: you are a work of art, continuously evolving, beautifully resilient, and forever in motion.

Bullying is a pervasive issue that affects children, families, and school communities alike. In a recent interview on Trust Me, Mom, Kristen Geez - a youth advocate, entrepreneur, and motivational speaker - shared her powerful journey from being a bully to becoming a champion for youth empowerment.

​What makes Kristen’s perspective and advice so powerful is that she has seen both sides of the coin. “From about five years old until I was about 14, I really was the school bully,” recounts Kristen. “Of all the accolades I get to receive, it's definitely not the highest title… and it's not one that I wear with honor, but it is one that unfortunately happened.” At age 14, her actions could have landed her in jail, facing charges for making a threat — what today would be considered a terroristic threat. She had to leave her previous school and was enrolled in a new one, where she met a powerful leader, Dr. Linda Parker, who gave her a chance to turn her life around. Dr. Parker helped Kristen learn powerful life lessons, which she now shares with youth and parents around the world.

Understanding the Root Cause of Bullying

Kristen shared a deeply personal account of her experiences growing up in an abusive household, which led to her becoming a school bully. “I grew up in a time when what happens in your household stays in your household… I would go to school and become a totally different person.” While she was labeled a ‘school bully,’ she sought to provide the defense for others that she lacked in her own home. “If someone was my friend or a classmate and they had a problem, I would take it upon myself to defend them the way I wished someone would have defended me at home.”

This highlights an important truth: bullying often stems from unresolved personal pain or anger. Many bullies act out because they lack a safe outlet for their emotions. As Kristen shared in the interview, “A lot of times when you're dealing with kids who are acting out or getting in trouble, there's always a root reason behind the behavior. Fortunately, my behavior eventually led me to a situation that required me to answer the final question: Why are you so angry?” Understanding this root cause can help parents and educators approach bullying with empathy and intervention rather than mere punishment.

Dismantling the Myths and What Strategies to Avoid

Kristen cautioned parents against telling their kids that bullies target them because they are jealous. She explained, “I never bullied one kid because I was jealous. I actually didn’t even see them as a person to care about their feelings, let alone be jealous of them. I bullied them because I was angry, and they just happened to be the person in the way that day.”
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Kristen also emphasized the importance of helping children understand their own value, regardless of the bully’s actions. She reminds parents to tell their child that while they might feel terrorized by a specific person at school - and it might seem like that person is thinking about them night and day - they are likely just a distraction from what the bully is truly dealing with.  The reason for this is, “because they don’t value you, and they may not ever value you.” Kristen clarified, “I’m not saying that you’re not valuable, but I think it’s important to tell a child who is being bullied: I don’t want you to think your whole identity needs to be wrapped around getting this person to like you or making this person think that they’re jealous.”

She shared a powerful message she often tells her students: “Life is a contact sport: as long as you are breathing, you are going to get hit.” Whether physically, mentally, spiritually, or financially, life’s challenges are inevitable, but she advises, “I cannot walk around being afraid.”

This wisdom aligns with the quote by John A. Shedd: “A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.” It serves as a reminder to build resilience and face life’s difficulties head-on, as challenges are an unavoidable part of growth and fulfillment.
 
Kristen works with many school-age children and has noticed, “Today, you see young people already deciding [on] defeat. They continue to sit in the same spot, allowing the bullying to happen because they’ve decided: that’s just how it is - they don’t like me, no one likes me, and everyone is against me.” She reminds us to make a distinction: a particular bully may be against a child, but that doesn’t mean the whole world is against that child.

She urges parents, “Have conversations early with your child so they understand when someone is disrespecting them. Teach them to verbalize and recognize it, whether you're with them or not, so they know not to be friends with people who are mean to them. Don’t excuse these little things. The better you teach your child to voice their discomfort at home, the better equipped they’ll be to handle situations in the world where someone does not care. There was never a time I bullied a kid who actually said anything back to me. They just froze up and allowed it to happen.”
 
Practical Strategies for Kids

Children who experience bullying often feel powerless, but there are steps they can take to regain control:

1. Speak Up: Encourage children to tell a trusted adult about the bullying. This is not tattling; it's a crucial step toward resolving the situation.
2. Avoid the Bully: If possible, avoid situations or locations where the bullying occurs. Sometimes, removing oneself from the environment can reduce the bully's power.
3. Seek Allies: Build a circle of supportive friends who can provide comfort and stand together when needed.
4. Develop Confidence: Teach children to assertively but calmly stand their ground. Role-playing scenarios at home can help them prepare for real-life encounters.
5. Avoid Retaliation: Fighting back physically or verbally can escalate the situation. Instead, focus on finding constructive solutions.

 
Role of Parents

Parents play a critical role in equipping their children to navigate bullying. Here’s how they can help:

1. Create a Safe Space: Make your home a haven where your child feels safe to confide in you without fear of judgment.
2. Monitor Behavior: Be aware of warning signs, such as a child becoming withdrawn, avoiding school, or exhibiting changes in behavior.
3. Advocate for Your Child: If bullying persists, escalate the issue to school officials and advocate for a resolution. Don’t hesitate to explore transferring schools if necessary.
4. Teach Emotional Regulation: Equip children with tools to process their emotions, such as journaling, mindfulness, or talking to a therapist.
5. Model Resilience: Show your child how to handle adversity by being a positive role model in your own life.

Role of Educators

Educators are on the front lines of combating bullying and can take steps to foster a positive school environment:

1. Promote Inclusivity: Create a classroom culture where differences are celebrated, and every child feels valued.
2. Identify Warning Signs: Train staff to recognize signs of bullying and intervene promptly and effectively.
3. Facilitate Mediation: Arrange for safe, supervised conversations between the bully and the victim to address the root causes and foster understanding.
4. Leverage Technology: Use tools like Kristen Geez's Advising Gents platform to educate students on laws, consequences, and mental health resources.
5. Engage Parents: Regularly communicate with parents about their children’s behavior and involve them in creating solutions.

A Call for Community Involvement

Kristen emphasizes the importance of community involvement in addressing bullying. It’s not just a school or home issue; neighbors, mentors, and local organizations can play a role in creating a safe and supportive environment for children.

Words of Encouragement for Parents

Raising children in today's complex world is challenging, but Kristen offers encouragement: “You are your child's first influencer. Take care of yourself so you can take care of them. Build a community of support and never stop engaging with your child’s world.”
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By working together - children, parents, educators, and communities - we can create environments where bullying is no longer tolerated, and every child has the opportunity to thrive.

When a parent frequently says, "Money doesn’t grow on trees, you know!" it may seem like a harmless way to teach kids the value of money, but it can have unintended effects on a child's development, including:

1. Instilling a Scarcity Mindset: Repeatedly hearing this phrase can lead children to develop a scarcity mindset, where they grow up believing that money is always scarce and hard to come by. This can affect their future financial habits, making them overly frugal, anxious about spending, or fearful of taking financial risks.
2. ​Creating Anxiety Around Finances: Children can internalize financial stress from parents, leading them to feel anxious about money even at a young age. This anxiety can carry into adulthood, affecting their confidence in managing finances and decision-making.
3. Reinforcing Negative Beliefs About Wealth: The message can unintentionally imply that money is inherently difficult to earn, making children feel that financial success is beyond their reach. This can limit their ambition or discourage them from pursuing lucrative opportunities, thinking they're unattainable.
4. Promoting Guilt About Spending: This phrase often comes up when children ask for something, leading them to feel guilty for wanting things or spending money. Over time, this can result in a reluctance to treat themselves or invest in their well-being, even when it’s affordable or necessary.
5. Impairing Their Understanding of Financial Management: Instead of teaching practical financial skills, such as budgeting or saving, this statement simply shuts down the conversation. Children miss the opportunity to learn about how money works and how to handle it responsibly.
6. Diminishing a Sense of Worth: If children perceive that their needs or desires are a financial burden, it can affect their self-esteem, leading them to feel unworthy of nice things or experiences.
7. Stifling Conversations About Money: It can discourage open dialogue about finances between parents and children. Instead of learning to discuss money matters openly and constructively, kids might feel that money is a taboo subject or something to worry about, not talk about.

​To foster a healthier approach, parents can focus on teaching financial literacy and responsibility through positive reinforcement and open conversations, helping kids develop a balanced, confident, and constructive attitude toward money. I also like Robert Kiyosaki’s approach of saying, 'How can we afford it?' instead of 'We can’t afford it.' This way, you get out of the scarcity mentality, and your mind will automatically start looking for ways to make it happen.

I recently had the privilege to interview Karin Freeland, a life coach, motivational speaker, and author who wrote the inspirational book Grab Life by the Dreams: The Essential Guide to Getting Unstuck and Living Your Purpose. Karin started her career as an actress, and as she says, she is no stranger to following her dreams. Around age 24, she was tired of waiting tables and decided to try a corporate career just for a year, save as much money as possible, and go back to acting full time. She started her corporate journey in sales, and after getting her first commission on a paycheck as a sales rep, she got addicted to the money drug really quickly. Long story short, Karin traded her personal goals and dreams for a comfortable salary, only to wake up one day and find herself in a midlife crisis. It impacted everything in her life – her marriage, her kids, her health, and her satisfaction with life. She had a massive hole in her soul that was gaping wide, and none of the purses, cars, and things fulfilled her anymore. Something was missing. She went on a self-discovery journey where she wanted to go back to her roots, her goals in life, and values.
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To get out of this hole, Karin said, "I realized that I wanted to start writing books, and it was really through the process of writing my first book that I started to get excited about life again." She eventually left the corporate career and started her own business to help other women achieve success without sacrifice.

This interview is packed with Karin’s personal stories and inspirational examples of her clients that will help you better understand how to:

✅ Lead a more balanced life - set healthy boundaries and let go of self-imposed expectations.
✅ Speak up for your needs - especially with your partner and how to stay in your “zone of genius” and outsource what you can.
✅ Achieve success on your terms - forget what society tells you is success and define your own values.

A lot of women fear that if they push back and say “No” to tasks and requests that can overwhelm them, they will miss something important. I love how Karin alleviated this fear by reminding us, "Lightning doesn’t strike once. If you are meant to do something, saying NO once will not cut off your opportunities."

It is also important to remember that "My numbers on my paycheck do not define my worth." If you choose to take a break from a job and focus on your family, it is okay. If you continue to push and sink deeper into stress, "your body will rebel. The sooner you can start paying attention to those signs, the sooner you can prevent something catastrophic from happening." Ensure you have a solid financial plan that aligns with your life goals and provides security.
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Karin Freeland's personal journey is a powerful example of the potential for reinvention and personal growth. Her insights into balancing family and work, understanding personal values, and maintaining one's mental and physical health offer invaluable guidance for moms navigating the complexities of modern life. Whether you are seeking to set healthier boundaries, speak up for your needs, or redefine what success means to you, this interview with Karin can help light the way.

After attending an impressive black belt exam and award ceremony at Provident Charter School conducted by Grand Master Robert Zang, I was inspired to research further the benefits of martials arts.

Martial arts have long been celebrated for their physical and mental benefits. Among these, Taekwondo stands out as a discipline that not only promotes physical fitness but also fosters mental resilience, discipline, and self-confidence. For children with learning differences such as dyslexia, dysgraphia, and ADHD, Taekwondo can be particularly beneficial. Here’s how:

1. Enhancing Focus and Concentration

One of the core elements of Taekwondo is the emphasis on focus and concentration. Children with ADHD often struggle with maintaining attention, but the structured environment of Taekwondo classes can help. The repetitive nature of practicing forms and techniques requires sustained attention, which can gradually improve a child's ability to focus in other areas of their life, including academics.

2. Building Self-Esteem and Confidence

Children with learning differences may experience feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem due to academic challenges. Taekwondo provides an opportunity for these children to excel in a different arena. Achieving new belts and mastering techniques can provide a sense of accomplishment and boost self-confidence. This newfound confidence can then translate into a more positive attitude towards school and learning.
 
3. Improving Physical Coordination and Motor Skills
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Dyslexia and dysgraphia are often accompanied by challenges with motor skills. Taekwondo’s emphasis on precise movements and coordination can help improve fine and gross motor skills. The practice of kicks, punches, and forms requires control and precision, which can help children develop better hand-eye coordination and overall motor skills.

4. Teaching Discipline and Routine

​Children with learning differences benefit from structure and routine. Taekwondo classes are highly structured and follow a consistent routine, which can be comforting for children who struggle with unpredictability. The discipline required in martial arts can also help children develop better organizational and time-management skills, which are crucial for academic success.
 
5. Providing a Healthy Outlet for Energy

Children with ADHD often have high energy levels and need a constructive outlet. Taekwondo offers a physically demanding activity that allows children to channel their energy in a positive way. Regular physical activity has been shown to reduce symptoms of ADHD, such as impulsivity and hyperactivity.

6. Enhancing Social Skills and Teamwork

Taekwondo is often practiced in a group setting, providing children with opportunities to interact with peers and develop social skills. For children with learning differences, building friendships and social networks can be challenging. The supportive environment of a Taekwondo class can help children develop better communication skills and learn to work as part of a team.
 
7. Encouraging Perseverance and Resilience

Learning Taekwondo is not without its challenges. It requires perseverance and resilience—qualities that are valuable in both martial arts and academics. Children learn that progress comes through consistent effort and practice, teaching them the importance of persistence and hard work.

Conclusion

Taekwondo and other martial arts offer a unique blend of physical, mental, and social benefits that can be particularly advantageous for children with learning differences like dyslexia, dysgraphia, and ADHD. By enhancing focus, building self-esteem, improving motor skills, teaching discipline, providing a healthy outlet for energy, enhancing social skills, and encouraging perseverance, Taekwondo can help these children thrive both in and out of school. 

The Children's Home is a beacon of hope and support for families with children who have medical and social needs. Ekaterina Konovalova at Trust Me Mom met with Bethany Bartilson, the Program Relations Manager at the Children's Home to learn more about the Children's Home unique programs and services, including world renown treatment for Cortical Visual Impairment (CVI) and Dr. Christine Roman-Lantzy’s innovative treatment. 

A Hub of Specialized Care

Founded initially as an adoption agency, The Children's Home has grown into a multifaceted institution. The speaker in the video highlights several core programs:
 
Pediatric Specialty Hospital: A key component of the organization, this hospital offers specialized medical care to children who require a transitional phase before they can return home. Remarkably, the hospital ensures that families do not receive a bill for the services, relying instead on grants and fundraising efforts to cover costs.

Child's Way Daycare: For children who are medically fragile, Child's Way provides a safe and nurturing environment where they can receive necessary therapy services while their parents continue with their employment or education.
Pediatric View Program: This unique initiative focuses on children with cortical visual impairment. It aims to enhance their functional vision and overall quality of life through targeted interventions.

Comprehensive Therapy Services: The Children's Home boasts a robust therapy team that includes physical, occupational, speech, and developmental therapists, all dedicated to supporting each child’s individual needs.
Counseling Services: Beyond its roots in adoption services, the organization offers an extensive counseling program that supports not just children but also their families in various capacities.
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Family-Centric Facilities
Understanding the challenges that families face when their children require prolonged medical care, The Children's Home provides accommodations that allow families to stay close. These facilities include a family living area where families can stay for free, either in their child's room or in a dedicated living space, which includes amenities like a pumping room for nursing mothers and a playground for siblings.
 
Community Outreach and Support

The video emphasizes the organization’s commitment to community outreach, aiming to raise awareness about the extensive support services available. Families from not just Pennsylvania, but also from out of state, seek out The Children's Home for its specialized care and training, underscoring its reputation as a leader in pediatric health and wellness.
 
The Children's Home stands out as a vital resource for families navigating the complexities of raising children with special medical and social needs. By offering a range of services under one roof, the organization not only alleviates the financial burden on families but also ensures that every child has the opportunity to thrive in a supportive environment.
 
For those interested in learning more about The Children's Home and its services, or for families in need of specialized care, the organization's doors are open, and its team ready to assist.