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Are kids really more fragile than previous generations, or are they reacting exactly as we should expect to the world we have created for them? That question sits at the heart of Kids These Days, a deeply researched book by Dr. Will Dobud, social work clinician and researcher and Dr. Nevin J. Harper. In a recent conversation on Trust Me Mom, Dr. Dobud unpacked how teen mental health became medicalized, why diagnosis and labeling often do more harm than good, and what truly helps young people heal. His perspective is shaped not just by research, but by lived experience. From Troubled Teen to Social Work Trailblazer Dr. Dobud does not approach youth mental health from a distance. As a teenager, he struggled himself. His father left the family, school was a constant source of conflict, and therapy became a regular part of his life. “I like to say I couch surfed from therapist to therapist,” he shared. “Therapy was just part of my everyday life.” At 18, wanting to shift from surviving to contributing, he became a volunteer firefighter and EMT. Around the same time, he began working with young people in outdoor settings. What struck him immediately was the disconnect between how teens were described in clinical environments and how they actually showed up in the world. “Therapists would come out and say, this kid is anxious, they have all these problems,” he said. “And I’d think, but when we’re camping, everything’s good. I don’t see that version of that child.” That disconnect sparked a lifelong curiosity about what actually works. The Problem With Labels and the Medical Model One of the central critiques in Kids These Days is how modern mental health relies heavily on diagnosis, categorization, and treatment manuals. While these systems promise clarity and safety, Dr. Dobud argues they often strip young people of agency and identity. “We talk about these things like they’re natural laws,” he explained. “But there were times when none of this existed. These ideas came from somewhere, and that means we can question them.” When teens internalize labels like “anxious” or “depressed,” those labels can quietly become identities rather than descriptions of experiences. Over time, the focus shifts from growth to maintenance. “We need people to be sick to have worth in our jobs,” Dr. Dobud said candidly. “So when someone asks a therapist what they do, it’s always about what’s wrong with people.” This framing, he argues, reinforces a medical model that does not reflect how therapy actually works. “If you ask any therapist what works, they’ll tell you it’s the relationship,” he said. “Imagine if your relationship with your surgeon predicted whether the surgery worked. It would change how we think about everything.”  When Therapy Becomes About Protecting the System Decades of research show that therapy is effective, but also that no one model consistently outperforms another. Despite this, the field continues to produce more manuals, more diagnoses, and more standardized treatments. “Since the first meta-analysis in the 1970s, outcomes haven’t improved by even one percent,” Dr. Dobud noted. “We keep looking at the wrong thing.” He describes this as a form of professional self-protection. By defending manuals and diagnoses, systems defend their legitimacy, even when doing so undermines the very relationships that create change. “No one has ever said, I had the best therapist in the world, they followed an amazing manual,” he said. “That’s never happened.”  Check out the latest Trust Me Mom podcast episode (Season 1, Episode 29) on Spotify and Apple Podcasts featuring Will Dobud, the author of Kids These Days You will learn: • Why therapy outcomes haven’t improved in 50+ years • How labels like ADHD or depression can become limiting identities • The real risks and rewards of outdoor and experiential therapy • Power dynamics in therapy — and why acknowledging them matters • What parents should know before outsourcing their child’s mental health • How society shapes teen distress more than we want to admit Power, Consent, and the Real Risk in Therapy
One of the most important themes in the conversation was power. Therapists hold immense power over children and families, whether they acknowledge it or not. “When you walk into therapy, you give up all the power,” Dr. Dobud said. “This is a stranger asking you to trust them with your kid.” He believes harm occurs most often when professionals deny or misunderstand that power. “You can only hurt a child in the name of therapy if you really believe you’re the expert,” he said. “When you know you have all the power, you also know you have the off switch.” Rather than more rules or longer training pipelines, he argues the field needs deeper reflection on ethics, humility, and consent. Outdoor Therapy and the Myth of the Magic Method Dr. Dobud is known for his work integrating outdoor and adventure-based therapies, but he is quick to challenge the idea that nature itself is a cure. “Nature doesn’t care about healing you,” he said. Even though he really enjoys outdoors, he said, "I’ve never walked outside and thought, time for me to heal… time for my dose of nature. I’ve also seen rattlesnakes, grizzly bears, and I’ve been in a cage with a great white shark. I work in Australia, where everything can kill you." Dr. Dobud explains, “Space becomes healing when people attach meaning to it.” Early in his career, he believed outdoor therapy worked because nature was inherently better. Research forced him to reconsider. “What I realized is I’m a better therapist outdoors,” he said. “What we do is probably the most boring part of the story. It’s about me and the client.” Outdoor settings strip away professional performance. Teens see adults struggle, adapt, and respond authentically. That realness, not the activity itself, is what creates opportunity for growth. Creating Experiences That Become Exceptions Rather than focusing on problems, Dr. Dobud designs experiences that become exceptions to them. “If negative experiences can harm,” he said, “then experiences can also heal.” He described watching teens who were labeled as unfocused or incapable demonstrate determination, patience, and leadership while navigating challenges outdoors. Those moments allow young people to internalize a different story about themselves. “I don’t want to tell them what makes them strong,” he explained. “I want them to experience it.” Kids as the Canary in the Coal Mine Perhaps the most powerful idea in Kids These Days is the metaphor of children as the canaries in the coal mine. “No child creates the environment they grow up in,” Dr. Dobud said. “They don’t choose the school system, the toxins, the politics, or the technology.” He pointed to well-documented examples, including lead exposure, endocrine-disrupting chemicals, and agricultural toxins that remain legally permissible despite decades of research showing harm. In some cases, these substances have been banned in other countries while remaining widespread in North America. “What’s troubling,” Dr. Dobud explained, “is that we allow these things into kids’ environments, and when kids react to them, we diagnose and medicate the child instead of questioning the system.” When kids struggle, the response is often to medicate or diagnose them so they can remain in environments that may be harming them. “If a kid was in a mine saying, ‘I can’t breathe,’ would we say, ‘take this pill and stay in the mine,’ or would we change the environment?” Instead of asking why kids cannot adapt, he urges adults to ask what they are adapting to. A Call to Adults, Not Another Parenting Manual Kids These Days was intentionally written for adults, not as a checklist, but as a challenge. “We didn’t want to write another book telling parents ten things to do tomorrow,” Dr. Dobud said. “We’ve survived a decade of contradictory parenting manuals.” The book invites readers to question sensational headlines, resist oversimplified explanations, and reclaim responsibility for shaping healthier systems. “Kids don’t belong to us,” he said. “They belong to tomorrow. The moment they’re born, our job is to set that tomorrow up better.” The work is uncomfortable and often slow. But for Dr. Dobud, it is also energizing. “If you’re fighting for the right thing,” he said, “you don’t burn out.” And that may be the most hopeful message of all.
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