Navigating Parenthood with Asperger’s: A Father's Journey with Todd Sheldon

​Wouldn’t it be nice if every newborn came with an instruction manual? It would make parents' lives so much easier! For Todd and his family, it took 11 years to truly understand his daughter, recognize her needs, and build a supportive environment around her - one that she would later express her gratitude for.
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In this heartwarming conversation on the Trust Me, Mom show, Todd shared his family's story, the challenges they faced, and the invaluable lessons they learned along the way.

​The Unexpected Diagnosis

For the first 11 years of Kelly's life, Todd and his wife knew she was different but weren’t sure why. She displayed signs such as hypersensitivity to sound, difficulty making friends, an early ability to read at an advanced level, and a preference for soft clothing. Yet, without a clear diagnosis, they simply adjusted to her unique traits without fully understanding them.

It wasn't until a family visit that Todd's aunt, a nurse, casually inquired about how they were managing Kelly’s Asperger’s. That one comment set Todd on a journey of discovery. He began researching, watching videos, and connecting the dots. This newfound understanding shifted their approach from frustration to patience, allowing them to see Kelly’s behaviors through a new lens.

Adjusting to a New Reality

Understanding that Kelly’s brain functioned differently, Todd and his wife made significant accommodations to help her thrive. One of the most life-changing decisions was moving from the suburbs to the countryside. Kelly had expressed a love for nature and animals, and their psychologist confirmed that a quieter, less stimulating environment could greatly benefit her.

Transitioning to a rural lifestyle wasn't easy, but it proved to be transformative. The Sheldon family embraced a slower, more intentional way of living, which allowed Kelly to find her peace and develop in a setting that better suited her needs.

The Challenge of Education

Like many children with Asperger’s, Kelly struggled in traditional schooling. While she excelled academically, the social pressures and sensory overload left her exhausted. After careful consideration, Todd and his wife decided to homeschool her.

The journey wasn't without obstacles. Finding the right curriculum took trial and error, and initially, learning at home did not go well. Eventually, they discovered a method that worked: studying in a library rather than at home. She ultimately completed a GED program, which led her to junior college and later to a scholarship in the honors program at the University of North Texas.

Building Strong Family Bonds

Throughout the journey, Todd prioritized spending quality time with Kelly. Their "Daddy-Daughter Time" became a sacred ritual, allowing them to connect, discuss life, and build trust. Over time, that evolved into "Todd-Kelly Time" as Kelly grew older, but the essence remained the same.

Todd also emphasized the importance of open communication. By listening to Kelly and acknowledging her thoughts and feelings, he helped her develop self-awareness and confidence. One of the most profound moments was when Kelly asked, "Where does Asperger's stop and I begin?" His response? "You are always Kelly. Your brain is like a superpower - learn to use it."

The Role of Siblings and Extended Family

Kelly’s older brother, Doug, played a crucial role in her development. Todd encouraged Doug to be a supportive and protective figure, reminding him that he had the power to positively influence Kelly's confidence and social interactions. Doug took this responsibility to heart, becoming not just a big brother but a true ally.

Their extended family also provided unwavering support, stepping in when needed and offering reassurance during difficult times. Todd stressed that asking for help is not a weakness but a vital part of navigating the challenges of raising a child with special needs.

Lessons Learned and Words of Wisdom

Through years of adapting, learning, and growing, Todd and his family discovered key lessons:

1. There is no one-size-fits-all handbook for parenting – Every child is unique, and parents must be willing to adapt.
2. Listen to your child – Sometimes, children know more about their needs than we give them credit for.
3. Society's expectations don’t define success - each child progresses at their own pace; there is no 'behind' or 'should.' As Todd mentioned in the interview, "People might notice, but they don’t care."
4. Make time for connection – Whether it’s parent-child time or dedicated date nights with your partner, relationships require intentional effort.
5. Support and patience are key – Understanding your child’s world can transform frustration into empathy.

Looking Ahead

Today, Kelly is thriving as an English major with a minor in music. She has gained independence, developed friendships, and is exploring her passions. Her journey wasn't linear, but it was hers, and it led her to where she is today - a place of confidence and self-acceptance.
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Kelly recently came to her dad and said, "Thank you for letting me have that time because it made all the difference."'​Todd’s story is a testament to the power of love, adaptability, and perseverance. By embracing Kelly’s unique mind and giving her the space to grow in her own way, he and his family created an environment where she could flourish.  

For any parent navigating a similar journey, Todd’s advice is simple: Trust yourself, trust your child, and embrace the unknown. The results might just surprise you.